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OfflineRasJeph
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Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird
    #786560 - 07/26/15 11:17 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

I just read this on 420chan and wanted to share. One of the funniest (and admittedly, coolest) trip stories I've read in quite a while haha.


Quote:

OP lemme tell you about mushrooms and why they are ten times crazier when you mix a bit of insomnia into the trip.

I hadn't slept for 2 days and my buddy comes over and wants to do shrooms with me and my brother and hike a mountain in the snow and ice while tripping balls.

I of course think this is a fantastic idea and eat an entire quarter of visibly dark blue mushrooms on an empty stomach. I was about to go to bed but the excitement of an unexpected impromptu trip woke me up.

So we get to the mountain and as we're climbing up and about halfway to the top it hits me as I am staring at this 40 foot boulder in the middle of the woods with 2 people who love rock climbing. I'm gonna have a bad time.

I suddenly felt really high. Higher than anyone high. Can feel all 40 feet of intestines like a giant coiled worm in my body high. I was immediately transported in time back to a primeval state of mind. My mind became dull, insensible yet full of the deadened solidity the boulder in front of me presented. The chatter of my companions echoed off the branches like the confused fragments of some long lost language spoken by barbarian heathens I only just met, my trust and survival now resting on their integrity.

We climbed to the top, my friend presented the mouth of a cave. I stared numbly at this giant mouth of rock, some feeble part of my modern self laughing nervously at the feeling overwhelming me. This was a home. I called myself crazy, you are really trippin balls man you arn't a caveman just some guy on shrooms calm down and go into the cave and chill with your friends

So I got in and as my brother and friend talked, seemingly as though nothing had changed i found myself pushed into the back of the cave trying to squirm into the rock, my skin crawling unpleasantly. I felt acutely mortal, sick with fear at the thought of seemingly imminent death from a million possible sources. Then they interrupt.

"Anon? Anon... you don't look so well. Are you cold?"
"Mm"
Cold? Is that what death is?
"Anon we're going to go back to the car for some moobliugazoo cigswannago nuk nuk"
"Wha...?"
"Want to just stay here?"
"Mm"

I closed my eyes and curled up into a ball, terrified, a frightened creature of the forest with no name, no language, no memories... the cave did not feel safe. I had visions of being covered in centipedes, spiders, all sorts of insects dormant in the dirt awakened by the sickly heat of my shivering body.

I panicked and ran out of the cave onto the ledge. My brother and friend hadn't left yet. They asked if I was sure of myself. Or sure I wanted to stay. Yes. I want to stay here. Alive. I don't want to die yet.

So they left and I was alone. Closing my eyes only to see explosions of fractals, dancing symbols and shimmering indigo blooms. There was no escape. I vomited onto the cliffs below. The wind shook the trees and they sounded like nothing else in the world but a million dead bones rattling together. No soft breeze through leaves, just the cold bite of winter shaking the barren mountain like a macabre snowglobe.

I couldn't stand the fear anymore. I began to scream insensibly at the top of my lungs, excitedly, wrathfully, pounding my chest and letting spittle fly and freeze onto my unshaven face. I roared at the wind, at God and nature, suddenly finding my voice again and began raving.

"STRIKE ME DOWN, I AM HERE, I AM ALIVE AND I AM NOT AFRAID, WHERE IS YOUR OMNISCIENCE? I CHALLENGE IT, YOU ARE NOTHING SO LONG AS I STAND HERE!"

I meant every single word and each sentence was buffeted by a stronger gust of wind, smaller branches snapping. I fully expected a bolt of lightning or loose branch to impale me through the chest for brazen blasphemy. But when I stopped yelling, the sky opened up to a beautiful azure blue. Fear was replaced with wonder and sadness. I wished I could fly into that blue expanse and leave this cramped dead mountain behind. It seemed poetic at first but the philosophical turned promptly into the psychotic as I became convinced I could infact transfigure my body into that of a bird.

I stretched my arms as much as I could and stood tall, stretching my head toward the sky I began keening madly as if to crystallize the transformative catalyst, the energy of the shamanic, to de-anthropomorphize myself

"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

No luck.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Nope.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CACAAAAAAAWCAW CAW CAWWWWWWWW CCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

I felt like I was standing on two toes and the wind had practically peeled me off the mountain. I was light, buoyant, nearly there, just a leaf at the top whipping in the wind, only a stem keeping me from dancing, twirling into the endless blue without a care in the world.

I studied my body intently, checking for signs of weakness, for signs of fear.

I found one remaining source.

My bladder.

I emptied it promptly and vigorously all over my fully clothed legs, fully aware I was wetting myself without a single fuck given. I needed to remove any vestige of hesitance, of attachment to the Earth. In retrospect I was fortunate to have an empty bowel. I would have expelled any solid waste violently and without shame.

I was doing it though. I felt myself ascend into the sky, as something other than myself, a bird as vast and as blue as all the sky my eyes could see. I looked down at the mountain and laughed at the puny rock. It was nothing, my body seemed like a simple toy, boring, uninteresting, not worth going back to.

Out here was an endless adventure! I could go anywhere! South! Warm beaches, endless food, vibrant colors and soaring among the stars at night! Whoo, space, I could finally see what's really out there! Wild, beautiful undiscovered vistas i would be the first to touch.

I was so overcome with joy I wanted to tell everyone about this amazing view and realized they were all back where my body was. I didn't feel anymore fear now, just an achy sort of love. What use was all this expanse if I had no one to share it with.

And just like that I was back, only with new vision. Back in a body, solid, small to the sky but a for a simple nest of the spirit what else could one ask for? I liked it. The mountain didn't seem so grey anymore, I saw bits of green poking out from under old leaves and the mountain had a warm, slow, deep breath in it. I heard a stream trickling out from the top somewhere. It wasn't dead, just sleeping.

What if the entire Earth was in a deep sleep? I looked back out on the rolling forest and saw distant pyramids and other ancient structures. Time seemed to dilate back and forth between millions of years like a cycle, a breathing. I knew what I would do. I would simply wait for the cycle to pass. I sat down cross legged and felt myself turn into a stone, moss creeping over me, time slipping by like the gurgling stream, steadily eroding what I knew into something of a different time.

HOLY DICK THIS IS TOO LONG TLDR I ATE TOO MANY SHROOMS ON NO SLEEP AND WILLINGLY, PISSED MY PANTS IT WAS DELIBERATE, NOT AN ACCIDENT




--------------------
Of course it's happening inside your head.
Why should that mean it isn't real?


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Invisibleoeric mckenna
Pure Indica


Registered: 07/18/14
Posts: 758
Loc: Mars
Re: Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird [Re: RasJeph]
    #786563 - 07/26/15 11:41 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Thats good shit^


--------------------
***Handing someone your life's work....in a single seed = :laugh: ***

HIGHER THAN A GEORGIA PINE

Oeric's Winter Grow Projects


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OfflineBumble_Dick
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Registered: 08/23/13
Posts: 3,924
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Re: Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird [Re: RasJeph]
    #786564 - 07/26/15 11:46 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Haha, that is a good one.


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OfflineKaptKid
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Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 5,504
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Re: Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird [Re: RasJeph]
    #786580 - 07/26/15 02:45 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Thats a good one. 


              :awegrow:


--------------------
Child of the 60's, Tripping ever sence.


Edited by KaptKid (07/26/15 02:48 PM)


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OfflineBumble_Dick
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Re: Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird [Re: KaptKid]
    #786583 - 07/26/15 02:58 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Bumble_Dick said:
Haha, that is a good one.




Quote:

oeric mckenna said:
Thats good shit^





Quote:

KaptKid said:
Thats a good one. 


              :awegrow:




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OfflineSmokeSomeHash
Littlest pee pee on da block
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Registered: 02/26/13
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Re: Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird [Re: Bumble_Dick]
    #786589 - 07/26/15 03:56 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Bumble_Dick said:
Quote:

Bumble_Dick said:
Haha, that is a good one.




Quote:

oeric mckenna said:
Thats good shit^





Quote:

KaptKid said:
Thats a good one. 


              :awegrow:







--------------------


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InvisibleBen18
Drunk Derelict
Male User Gallery Arcade Champion: Beach Bobbing Bob, Funky Pong, Spank the Monkey

Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 3,189
Re: Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird [Re: RasJeph]
    #786597 - 07/26/15 05:19 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

thanks bud, that was a good read


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OfflineRasJeph
Psycho Pete
Male


Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 11,628
Loc: Bumfuckt Egypt
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
Re: Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird [Re: Ben18]
    #786717 - 07/28/15 08:33 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

I just wish he had told us what his brother and friend did when they came back and found him made of stone and covered in piss lol. Reading the story in that context it almost makes sense, but to find your homie like that when you're also tripping balls would be too funny.


--------------------
Of course it's happening inside your head.
Why should that mean it isn't real?


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Offlinedmtcorey
~The time police~
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Registered: 08/06/09
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Re: Guy eats shrooms, thinks he's a caveman, pisses himself and turns into a bird [Re: RasJeph]
    #786744 - 07/28/15 04:41 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

lol ,to cool yo


--------------------
:whereismiddleman:


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