Home | Community | Message Board


Everything Mushrooms
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> The Smoke Lounge

Welcome to the Growery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]
Offlinekidaihuan
Married to an Asian
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 1,733
Loc: Shanghai, China
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine.
    #91900 - 07/24/08 02:52 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

So that licked sweaty man balls.

Here's the background story.

My silk pajama pants are not to be found, and I assume that they are being washed or they got stolen (had some women's underwear and a shitload of my counterfeit jeans get stolen off the lines a few days back). Now, it's fucking hot, so I'm not going to wear pants - but since people burst into the room without knocking long enough for me to cover my manhood - I've gotta fucking wear something.

Now, here's the problem. My other pair of pajamas has a huge ass rip right on the crotch, so naturally, half the time my giant penis is flopping out the hole and dangling around - not a problem when it's hot out and I'm just sitting around - I can push it back in by the time someone opens the door.

*However* I can't walk downstairs and meet the courier in these - cause what if he sees my giant cock and bro rapes me? Plus it's fucking weird, and it flops out because of the hole.

*SO!*

This brings me to my story.

My wife ordered me a popcorn machine for my birthday (I said I'd prefer a cotton candy machine, but phhh... she hates the stuff.) And I was told by her that I should be expecting it today.

So I'm like, fuck yeah.

Later on, about 11am, there's some yelling outside and someone's honking their horn - yay, popcorn machine arrives - or so I thought.

Quickly I strip (oh yeah!) and toss on some pants (going commando) and a counterfeit Timberland T-Shirt. I grab my manbag (which has my money, cellphone and keys), but I just drop it on the stairs so that I can put on my shirt faster (I could just go back and get it easily if I needed to pay for anything).

So I whip open the door and the guy is like "Wtf? a white guy?"

He asks if I am my wife, and I say yes, and then gets me to sign for the parcel before he leaves. As I am taking the parcel, *SLAM* and in my mind, *FUCK*.

The door just fucking blew shut behind me. I'm fucking locked out. But at least I have a fucking popcorn machine.

So, with nothing else to do, I go for a walk in a housing development area (not too many people because the houses there are expensive as fuck). Along the way, I pick up a rock so that I can cut the tape on the box.

First thought, we probably got conned and they gave us a shitty popcorn machine, because it was a pretty small fucking box. So I cut it open anyway, and wtf? A bunch of small things wrapped in newspaper. I have to assemble it to?!

Then I unwrap the small things.

Lotions. Fucking lotions. NO GODDAMN COTTON CANDY MACHINE, NOT EVEN A GODDAMN POPCORN MACHINE.

Fucking shit the next three hours sucked balls knowing that when I went back inside, I wouldn't be able to make myself fucking popcorn.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinekidaihuan
Married to an Asian
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 1,733
Loc: Shanghai, China
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: kidaihuan]
    #91902 - 07/24/08 02:53 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

BTW, it may still come today, so this day could potentially turn around.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleandyistic
We got them veenoms!

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 10,990
Loc: On the Lot
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: kidaihuan]
    #91903 - 07/24/08 02:54 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

GODDAMN PEDO !!!
We were certain you would be banned by now. :crankey:


--------------------
Bastard greedy for salvia, want me to cheat, take advantage of a friend shroomerite G!

Tangerines said: "Real men quit cold turkey - alone in their rooms with no drugs."

OK so ... where is everyone? This place is so dead lately!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblemel_lonta_tauda
Male User Gallery
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 9,407
Loc: the sun
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: andyistic]
    #91904 - 07/24/08 02:54 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:ilold: at the giant text


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineCoaster
I'm Back Baby
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 25,306
Loc: Sativa Central Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: kidaihuan]
    #91907 - 07/24/08 02:56 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

dood wtf y did iread all that
shorten that shit grrr
well that blows
i want a popcorn machine too


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleOmbient
ɥɐɹq ɹǝqos

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 3,499
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: kidaihuan]
    #91908 - 07/24/08 02:56 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

LOL I'm not reading all that shit


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblebeatyou
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 2,143
Loc: 512/atx
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: Ombient]
    #91916 - 07/24/08 02:59 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

i didn't even need to read a single word of this way-to-long dumbass fucking post before I knew it sucked.


--------------------
this is me on a bar, 3 methrolls (up 4 days), ketamine, and some good acid two years ago.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineCoaster
I'm Back Baby
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 25,306
Loc: Sativa Central Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: beatyou]
    #91919 - 07/24/08 03:01 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

FUCK I WISH I HAD THAT 4SITE


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineHanky
Fat Ladies Bingo


Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Ass Flavour Pie Factory
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: kidaihuan]
    #91921 - 07/24/08 03:01 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

HAHA!


--------------------
Coaster Said:  "wut do u post bout flumbooyon"


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleOmbient
ɥɐɹq ɹǝqos

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 3,499
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: beatyou]
    #91923 - 07/24/08 03:02 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I skimmed and saw "counterfeit jeans" , "big cock", and "bro rape".

That's about it.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblebeatyou
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 2,143
Loc: 512/atx
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: Coaster]
    #91924 - 07/24/08 03:02 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I wish you knew English. *zing*

:vaped:


--------------------
this is me on a bar, 3 methrolls (up 4 days), ketamine, and some good acid two years ago.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineHanky
Fat Ladies Bingo


Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Ass Flavour Pie Factory
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: andyistic]
    #91925 - 07/24/08 03:03 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I wonder why pedo's always wear silk pajamas.


--------------------
Coaster Said:  "wut do u post bout flumbooyon"


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleandyistic
We got them veenoms!

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 10,990
Loc: On the Lot
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: Hanky]
    #91929 - 07/24/08 03:04 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I won't even attempt to answer that one.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineCoaster
I'm Back Baby
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 25,306
Loc: Sativa Central Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: beatyou]
    #91933 - 07/24/08 03:06 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

beatyou said:
I wish you knew English. *zing*

:vaped:



i wish i didnt have this dam english accent


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleandyistic
We got them veenoms!

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 10,990
Loc: On the Lot
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: Coaster]
    #91939 - 07/24/08 03:10 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Now then, you were gonna tell us what you meant by flumbooyon, correct?

OK, I'm listening ...


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineCoaster
I'm Back Baby
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 25,306
Loc: Sativa Central Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: andyistic]
    #91944 - 07/24/08 03:12 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

how many times must eye


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleandyistic
We got them veenoms!

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 10,990
Loc: On the Lot
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: Coaster]
    #91948 - 07/24/08 03:15 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Until you give us the correct response.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineCoaster
I'm Back Baby
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 25,306
Loc: Sativa Central Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: andyistic]
    #91952 - 07/24/08 03:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

did u check out shroomery lnc they got sum naked chick posing rofl


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblebeatyou
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 2,143
Loc: 512/atx
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: Coaster]
    #91955 - 07/24/08 03:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

linkme plz


--------------------
this is me on a bar, 3 methrolls (up 4 days), ketamine, and some good acid two years ago.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleandyawtistik
flambooyon

Registered: 07/24/08
Posts: 46
Loc: the lot brah, lolololol
Re: Locked outside for 3 hours... in 35C heat, and I didn't get my fucking popcorn machine. [Re: Coaster]
    #91956 - 07/24/08 03:18 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

flambooyon  =

bab00n fl00zy derrrrrrrr :flowstone:

:goatse:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]

Community >> The Smoke Lounge

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* This fucking sucks...
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 all )
Kine 9,861 109 05/01/13 04:40 PM
by Maestro
* don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen usg543 1,057 8 06/13/08 11:49 AM
by Hanky
* if you could beat the fuck out of a growery member....
( 1 2 3 4 ... 13 14 all )
Picklez 2,230 275 10/03/14 11:20 PM
by poor boy
* i fucked up my ankle b0b gnarley 1,289 11 08/18/08 07:10 PM
by wowitch420
* HER FUCKING WATER BROKE!!!!!
( 1 2 3 all )
Dunno 4,196 41 05/11/08 02:04 PM
by highasfuck
* FUCK FUCK CUNT AS FUCK SHIT BITCH FUCK ASS FUCK
( 1 2 all )
Harry_Ba11sachM 6,020 25 11/01/10 09:00 AM
by Fisherman
* Agh... I'm so fucking tired Dunno 1,384 7 04/28/08 10:14 AM
by Dunno
* I didn't realize it was 1969 ThreeLittleBirds 1,716 6 04/20/08 02:00 PM
by Hashish

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: FurrowedBrow, Harry_Ba11sach, Stoneth, Dr. Siekadellyk
4,407 topic views. 3 members, 1,096 guests and 444 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
RVF Garden Supply
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2016 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.042 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 16 queries.