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 TheCrunchyBisquit
Baked to a Crisp
Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 170
Loc: In The Garden Of Eden
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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 Corrosion, Tobacco/Damiana Bong Rips, Insanity, and Perception 
#531543 - 02/28/11 02:01 PM (13 years, 1 month ago) |
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So I haven't posted anything here in a long, long time - and I miss having the time in my life to do so.
Auto-biographies amaze me, writing down ones own life to a book - being able to read it on paper... the perception of a change in chapter in ones life... I believe my life is in it's 4th 'chapter', and I can remember the exact moment it changed - It's odd going from no anxiety issues to having the world on your shoulders after a single, random anxiety attack.
When your young, the world is so bright and forgiving. You can do anything, be anyone. Once you grow up, and see the world as it is, and see the corrosion where you've grown up, and in the world - it can hit you like a telethon to the face.... that doesn't make sense at all, but when I thought of a blunt object I could only think of telethons...
A month long binge of anything can teach you something. I don't regret doing Tramadol so much (at the most 6-10 a day) even though I had to stop twice because of the shitty side-effects (or inability to shit I should say lmao) and withdrawls are a bitch but oh well. I view the Trammies as a welcome alternative... but that was October/November. Now things are different, yet the same.
The perception of reality has confused me since I was 12, fucking dreams lol. Now then.. oh wow I totally forgot till now that Salvia had a huge fucking part in this story (not neccessarily negative btw  )
The day before Thanksgiving was... beautiful? Smoking Salvia (leaf) and tripping ~20 times, but not breaking through. Its never breaking through that gets to me, it's the feeling of impending randomness after -NOT- breaking through, as it feels like there is no actual "end". At any time the walls might fly up into the ceiling, or the milkdrop visuals might fly across your room from your TV and merge with your leg. Or the lyrics to NIN's Reptile changing to "Pick up your lighter, move to the couch-chair" -- It's a beautifully disturbing feeling to close your eyes in silence and be able to see what your imagining (after coming close to the bottom of a 1/2oz bag, 2 weeks after buying it)
Does Salvia produce flashbacks? Or is it that it just rewrites your perception of reality... a sort of "permanent trip" that you don't know your in. The moving lines in the road, the tapestry on the ceiling, the milkdrop visuals, the support beams at Olive Garden... they're all the same but yet months after smoking Salvia, they are all still.... different... patterns; everything is one.
Sorry for the long-ass post btw.
And to make something clear, I'm not one of those "Salvia made me crazy" evangelists or what-not, I love and respect it's power.
Tobacco and Damiana Bong rips... if you haven't, light some Nag Champa and do it. A full pack of Tobacco, then overflow it with damiana so you don't see brown and smoke it to ash in the largest hit your lungs will allow (but never after a glass of wine and BBQ chips, though thats some damn good tasting vomit, surprisingly lmao). A minute of paralysis and buzzing; "Don't close your eyes! Don't close your Eyes! Think of nothing! Think of Black! I need my iPod! No you Don't! Don't move!" --> Silence, or the lack of silence, can both be powerful. With silence, to think of pure black and nothing is easy, but dangerous; motion sickness from thinking of nothing, mentality effecting the physical. Think your happy and you are, sad - you are, angry - you are. It's like a factory reset.
I honestly don't know why the hell i just wrote this (or you read it haha!) but I've been feeling the need to, a compelling one at that, for two weeks now... so... anyone have any shared experience? I wrote and recorded an album during and about this past year, It's free if anyone wants it, just lemme know and ill post a link in tune town or whatever - kinda hard to catagorize other than Dark Psychedelic. Thank you for reading this, and I went to a head doc twice (by my own will) before I realized that she was the crazy one. Insanity is a gift if you know how to use it, it's not negative, just an altered perspective as the brain works different.
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 I hate my sig
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Thebooedocksaint
Dead Dictator
Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 5,725
Loc: Wild & Free
Last seen: 14 days, 7 hours
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 Re: Corrosion, Tobacco/Damiana Bong Rips, Insanity, and Perception [Re: TheCrunchyBisquit]
#531636 - 02/28/11 09:11 PM (13 years, 1 month ago) |
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"Je pense, donc je suis (I am thinking, therefore I am)." -Rene Descartes
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