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OfflineLucid
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Registered: 07/18/08
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Day 22 off Suboxone, I BEAT THIS SHIT.
    #476434 - 09/13/10 09:59 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

UPDATE DAY 11

Well people, I think I got this shit in the bag. its day 11, I'm getting my energy back and sleeping is coming easier. to everybody out there who is looking to get clean. IT IS POSSIBLE. And you have no idea what you have lost, Opiates numb EVERY PART OF YOU. I got 5 years of emotions in a massive flood at once. It actually does feel good to be sober! I CAN FEEL AGAIN! The fact that music sounds 1000x better is reason enough to quit! I think SO clearly now. Its a bit much to take in, as you start thinking about the entire time you were using and all that you did. you have to process it because you never did! The entire process is by no means a cake walk, but we did this to ourselves. For all that pleasure we felt, we have to take some pain.

But its not an impossible task, I was never more scared of anything in my life, but here I am at day 11. I even have suboxone, methadone, and poppy pods around the house. Havent touched that shit, It feels too good to be ME again. If your on heroin, methadone, suboxone, whatever your on. Taper that shit down, as low as you can go. I went from 100mgs of methadone down to 20mg in 4 months. then switched to 8mgs of suboxone, and over a 6 week period I tapered down to 2mg with little problem.

So if your reading this wondering if you can do it, you fucking can. You have to reach that mental point where living your life as a numbed soul is NOT acceptable anymore. You MUST reach the point where you will do ANYTHING. Mind over matter friends. I hope this thread helps somebody out there.

Peace to you and yours.





Not sure if anybody remembers, but I was on methadone for 2 years after being an IV heroin user for 2 years. a few months ago I decided I needed to transition to suboxone for a few months before jumping off everything. Well yesterday I jumped off everything, ill be 48 hours from my last dose of suboxone in about an hour. I prepared myself this time though, I have every comfort drug possible for withdraw, Klonopin, Clonodine, Trazadone, Serequel, and lots of weed.

So far I think this clonodine is being a fucking life saver, its an off label use for withdrawl but is a blood pressure medication. shit really puts you on the floor. blacked out a few times....Gota be careful. Well my biggest complaint is the bullshit that happens with your skin and mostly the legs. Fucking restless leg syndrome bullshit. Shit bothers me so fucking much! Plus I feel like, what I Imagine, bone cancer feels like. And I'm pretty sure somebody kicked me in the nuts while I was sleeping, Kite was that you? I even had suboxone left I just get sick of being a fucking addict even if it is a legal drug. So I guess about 2 weeks before I start feeling normal again. Fucking long haul but whatever I guess. No choice really, I'm not coming off this shit in winter. Plus I got a new life waiting for me at harvest..Going to be sober for that no matter what.

Well thanks for listening to my rant, I'm bored and depressed and had nothing else to do. :feelsbadman:


Edited by Lucid (10/03/10 10:25 PM)


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InvisibleT-Rex
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476435 - 09/13/10 10:04 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Good luck with the withdraws man, I hope you get through it ok.


Just keep thinking positive, and remember that in a few weeks you will literally be able to fill a bath and bathe in your own marijuana :jah:


Good luck once again, stay strong and stay high!


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OfflineLucid
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Registered: 07/18/08
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: T-Rex]
    #476438 - 09/13/10 10:16 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

I just wish I could go swimming, a hot shower makes me feel great as long as I'm in the shower. And exercise is a huge part of it too. I could go drive to the lake and go swimming, one of my favorite activities. but last time I tried it while I was in mild withdrawl, I dove into the water, only the emerge and start doing that shit that happens when you fall though the ice. where your forced to breath. I had 10 people around me as I flopped around in the water like a tard going ERRR ERRRR ERRRER!!!!!!! ERRRRR! Even Inverted was like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU! had to get my chest out of the water for it to stop. Super sensitivity to the cold in withdrawls, exactly why I dont want to do this in winter. I couldn't even go outside it was so impossible to stay sane. :boo:


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InvisibleT-Rex
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476439 - 09/13/10 10:22 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

That fucking sucks man, its getting into Autumn in the U.S about now isn't it? We just went through one of the coldest winters ever so I share your immense disdain for cold weather.


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OfflineLucid
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476440 - 09/13/10 10:37 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

yep fall is fast approaching and summer is fading... it sucks, but me and the farmers got stuff to look foward to in the fall so you cant get too mad.


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InvisibleMR.HEADY
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476447 - 09/13/10 11:19 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Is it really that hard to get off of a drug ? Just curious ive never done it and wont do it .But why 2 yrs of methadone to me that was only prolonging the addiction. I dont know what suboxone is but good luck on quiting it also . Heroin must be awesome for people to like it so much . I cant stand the way opiate pain meds make me feel maybe that is different not sure. But congrats and good luck


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[quote]FarBeyondDriven said:
Anybody ever tell you you're the result of a broken prophylactic in the back seat of a 74 Mercury?[/quote]


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InvisibleInverted
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: MR.HEADY]
    #476454 - 09/13/10 12:08 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

OMG it is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and I have made some amazing achievements before...

Opiates are the best and worst drug created.

Cannabis FTW fo the rest of my life, it saved me.


--------------------
Don't criticize what you can't understand


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OfflineLucid
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: MR.HEADY]
    #476462 - 09/13/10 12:59 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

MR.HEADY said:
Is it really that hard to get off of a drug ? Just curious ive never done it and wont do it .But why 2 yrs of methadone to me that was only prolonging the addiction. I dont know what suboxone is but good luck on quiting it also . Heroin must be awesome for people to like it so much . I cant stand the way opiate pain meds make me feel maybe that is different not sure. But congrats and good luck




ya the 2 years of methadone was excessive, but it gave me time to stay away from the drug long enough to realize how much I prefer my life to the life of an addict. To me, it seems like you have to get to that "point" where you just have like an awakening and your like, fuck it.. I want off this shit and ill do anything I have to, to do it.:randy:


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OfflineKilroy
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476476 - 09/13/10 01:38 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

I hope you never find out how bad addictions are Mr. Heady. Methadone has been stated many time to even be harder to quit then the drugs it is supposed to help you get off of. I have to be careful of some of the cold medicines I might take because they trigger severe cravings in me. I do not like pain killers myself but I love anything that makes me speedy(coke, meth). Some people love the opiates some love speed but one thing is for sure we can not handle them. We start and never stop then the vicious cycle starts to that is all we think about is getting our next fix. I would not wish this on anybody unless I truly hate them and want them to die.
                Lucid I know you can do it. You have won against the other 2, and I know you will do it with this one. You are strong and I will send good happy healing vibes your way my friend


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Just smoke a bowl and get over your self
We are human beings first everything else is second
               

You can not hold anything I post against me for I am delusional


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OfflineNobodyImportant
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476478 - 09/13/10 01:39 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

How does seroquel help with withdrawls ? just curious but all its ever done for me is make my blood pressure drop to the point I can barely stay conscious in the least pleasurable way possible, anyway good luck, you know you can do it, just keep your head up :awesome:


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:bonghit:
Glass By: US Tubes, ZOB, Roor.de, Sheldon Black, Jerome Baker, Medicali, Kennaroo, Sand, Alex K, Local and Unknown Artists


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InvisibleHendershot
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: NobodyImportant]
    #476485 - 09/13/10 01:58 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

I've been there dude, and I don't envy you right now(I will at harvest time tho :wink:), but much respect for taking this final step. I thrashed on my bed so bad my back was like sandpaper from scabs, my legs hurt soo bad and were all tickly inside at same time. I wanted to die, and the bitch was, I knew I wasn't going to. Atavan helped immensly:drooling:
Stay strong man, don't let your mind play tricks, make bargains( I deserve a pill, one won't hurt, etc.), cuz I know how it is. I chipped for months before I finally just did it. It's been 11+ yrs for me now, and I've never looked back!


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"You're cool, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out.."


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OfflineKilroy
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Hendershot]
    #476511 - 09/13/10 03:01 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Hendershot said:
I've been there dude, and I don't envy you right now(I will at harvest time tho :wink:), but much respect for taking this final step. I thrashed on my bed so bad my back was like sandpaper from scabs, my legs hurt soo bad and were all tickly inside at same time. I wanted to die, and the bitch was, I knew I wasn't going to. Atavan helped immensly:drooling:
Stay strong man, don't let your mind play tricks, make bargains( I deserve a pill, one won't hurt, etc.), cuz I know how it is. I chipped for months before I finally just did it. It's been 11+ yrs for me now, and I've never looked back!



congrats


--------------------
Just smoke a bowl and get over your self
We are human beings first everything else is second
               

You can not hold anything I post against me for I am delusional


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OfflineLucid
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: NobodyImportant]
    #476512 - 09/13/10 03:05 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

NobodyImportant said:
How does seroquel help with withdrawls ? just curious but all its ever done for me is make my blood pressure drop to the point I can barely stay conscious in the least pleasurable way possible, anyway good luck, you know you can do it, just keep your head up :awesome:





I use to take it for sleep while I was on a low dose of suboxone, but the clonodine really lowers the shit out of my blood pressure I dont think I can risk taking it. I'm at 105 over 62 HR of 73. its usually at least 120 systolic. I took 2 .5mg klonopins this morning and .15mg of clonodine(half a pill) Day 1 was ok, but today I'm super weak. did my daily 30 minute Exercycle exercise. ugh, my car is fucking broken and I dont know how the fuck to fix it so my dad is working on it. Too bad hes basically an alcoholic and is not exactly prompt with his work. 52 hours since last dose. Just wish I could drive to a friends house or somewhere. AHHHHHHHHH.

Fucking replaced the master cylinder on a 90's Oldsmobile cutlass sierra because pedal went to the floor with no brakes. Bench bled the new master, put it in. go to bleed the brakes and nothing comes out the bleeders screws on any of the tires. yes I did them in the correct order. no there are no leaks, the fluid level in the rez stays the same. Push rod has been checked.


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InvisibleInverted
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Hendershot]
    #476514 - 09/13/10 03:06 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Well plus I am here to help him in the process. 

He helped me go from Heroin, to Suboxone, to nothing, so now I'm trying to get him to be on the same level.

It's a horrible process, but once you get over the hump you start to feel physical and mental things that you have been missing for years.  I cried so many times during my withdrawal and over absolutely nothing.  The instant flood of emotions that you have been ignoring for years hit you like a freight train, but after the depression, comes intense happiness that you haven't felt either.

He'll do it, I won't let him fail.


--------------------
Don't criticize what you can't understand


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OfflineLucid
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Hendershot]
    #476524 - 09/13/10 03:11 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Hendershot said:
I've been there dude, and I don't envy you right now(I will at harvest time tho :wink:), but much respect for taking this final step. I thrashed on my bed so bad my back was like sandpaper from scabs, my legs hurt soo bad and were all tickly inside at same time. I wanted to die, and the bitch was, I knew I wasn't going to. Atavan helped immensly:drooling:
Stay strong man, don't let your mind play tricks, make bargains( I deserve a pill, one won't hurt, etc.), cuz I know how it is. I chipped for months before I finally just did it. It's been 11+ yrs for me now, and I've never looked back!





Thanks for the support man, and grats on 11+ clean! I'm already feeling more clear headed. Had a crazy thing happen last night. like my life flashed before my eyes, and then the life I could have had flashed before me. It was this crazy emotional moment because the withdrawls fuck with your emotions so bad its like tripping. It really made me want to stay clean off this shit.


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OfflineTank333
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476555 - 09/13/10 03:57 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Right on dude! I'm hella glad for you!

I lost two friends in Seattle last summer who were trying their best to kick H...

Rob had turned to it when his Crohn's disease, and the oxy's that he had been prescribed just wouldn't cut it. He decided he needed to kick it when his injection site got REALLY infected. He was clean for three weeks before he relapsed and it killed him.

Vash had been a user for a while, and him and his brother (both were homeless in Seattle; Vash's name still brings tears to some street kids' eyes) had been trying to kick it for a while. They went on a trip to Portland, and no one's quite sure what exactly happened, but his brother got arrested and while he was in jail, Vash relapsed, and it killed him.

Heroin is one of the worst drugs in the world. I'm not sure which is worse, Meth or Heroin... Heroin is one of the only drugs I've never done, and I never will. I know I've done a lot, tried a lot of different things, and weed's the only things I still enjoy doing on a daily basis.

The way I see it is that if I feel I can control my cravings, I'll be fine. I still do coke, maybe twice a year, if I'm lucky. I do MDMA (NOT extacy, that shit's always cut with something nasty) maybe twice a year too... To me, it's all a matter of priorities, and controlling myself.


Anyways, congrats man! I really hope it goes well with you! I'm always hella supportive of anyone trying to quit that shit! Keep it up, and just remember, it's NOT worth it! lol


--------------------
My best run so far


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InvisibleMr. Kite
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476563 - 09/13/10 04:22 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

I can kick you in the balls if you want me to. :gump:


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InvisibleInverted
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Mr. Kite]
    #476564 - 09/13/10 04:27 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Mr. Kite said:
I can kick you in the balls if you want me to. :gump:




Why you trolling a recovery thread when you yourself started one for me???


--------------------
Don't criticize what you can't understand


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InvisibleiStoner
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: Lucid]
    #476565 - 09/13/10 04:29 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Lucid said:
And I'm pretty sure somebody kicked me in the nuts while I was sleeping, Kite was that you?.



:ilold:
but goodluck on everything, and congrats.


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Edited by iStoner (09/13/10 04:34 PM)


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InvisibleMr. Kite
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Re: Day 2 off Suboxone, 4 years in the making.... [Re: iStoner]
    #476566 - 09/13/10 04:31 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Inverted said:
Quote:

Mr. Kite said:
I can kick you in the balls if you want me to. :gump:




Why you trolling a recovery thread when you yourself started one for me???



Read Lucids post before you think I'm trolling fool.
Quote:

iStoner said:
Quote:

Lucid said:
And I'm pretty sure somebody kicked me in the nuts while I was sleeping, Kite was that you?.



:lold:
but goodluck on everything, and congrats.



This.


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