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OfflineChoix Sinaloa
Coke
Male


Registered: 12/13/10
Posts: 185
Loc: Cali
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
What happens when we die?
    #506721 - 12/19/10 09:40 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.
 
u r a L7 wienie !!!!!


--------------------
My lesbian neighbors gave me a watch, i guess they misunderstood when i said i wanted to watch.

:[




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OfflineRasJeph
Psycho Pete
Male


Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 11,628
Loc: Bumfuckt Egypt
Last seen: 1 month, 26 days
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Choix Sinaloa]
    #506754 - 12/19/10 10:50 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

I'm sorry, that girls ass in your signature is preventing me from reading the text above it.

Edit: I'll  be damned, 2000 posts already? Well, 2002...wtf did I waste my 2000th on? Loll.


--------------------
Of course it's happening inside your head.
Why should that mean it isn't real?


Edited by RasJeph (12/19/10 10:51 PM)


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OfflineKaptKid
Spaced Pirate
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 5,506
Loc: Bright Side of the Sun
Last seen: 2 hours, 23 minutes
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: RasJeph]
    #506756 - 12/19/10 10:52 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

I agree


--------------------
Child of the 60's, Tripping ever sence.


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Offlinejkell
Midnight toker
 Arcade Champion: QB Challenge


Registered: 10/29/10
Posts: 510
Loc: Don' worry bout it
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: KaptKid]
    #506766 - 12/19/10 11:07 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Thats a crazy read


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Invisibledrawde
 Arcade Champion: Balloon Bomber

Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 4,788
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: jkell]
    #506771 - 12/19/10 11:25 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Entertaining way of conveying some pretty basic principles, great nevertheless. :thumbup:


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InvisibleBlueBerry_SwisherS
Heart Slowed
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/19/10
Posts: 3,303
Loc: Raw Headspace Flag
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: drawde]
    #506773 - 12/19/10 11:33 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Wow that's crazy. Really makes you think.


--------------------


Let food be thy medicine


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OfflineChoix Sinaloa
Coke
Male


Registered: 12/13/10
Posts: 185
Loc: Cali
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: RasJeph]
    #506808 - 12/20/10 12:30 AM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

RasJeph said:
I'm sorry, that girls ass in your signature is preventing me from reading the text above it.

Edit: I'll  be damned, 2000 posts already? Well, 2002...wtf did I waste my 2000th on? Loll.




haha
, you should read it tho; ]


--------------------
My lesbian neighbors gave me a watch, i guess they misunderstood when i said i wanted to watch.

:[




Edited by Choix Sinaloa (12/20/10 12:51 AM)


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InvisibleShr0000ooooms
Cannabis Sampler


Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 3,870
Loc: Hindu Kush Mountains
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Choix Sinaloa]
    #506817 - 12/20/10 12:37 AM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Shit, my mind just blew into pieces.


--------------------
If I'm posting I'm high.


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OfflineKERAN

Registered: 04/23/09
Posts: 25
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Shr0000ooooms]
    #506894 - 12/20/10 08:13 AM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Dang.


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OfflineChoix Sinaloa
Coke
Male


Registered: 12/13/10
Posts: 185
Loc: Cali
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Shr0000ooooms]
    #507034 - 12/20/10 05:04 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Shr0000ooooms said:
Shit, my mind just blew into pieces.




i know, she has a big ass


--------------------
My lesbian neighbors gave me a watch, i guess they misunderstood when i said i wanted to watch.

:[




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Invisiblepsyberpunk
Lunatic


Registered: 11/02/10
Posts: 533
Loc: Behind a Pipe
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Choix Sinaloa]
    #507071 - 12/20/10 05:49 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

her ass is so big she looks retarded.


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OfflineChoix Sinaloa
Coke
Male


Registered: 12/13/10
Posts: 185
Loc: Cali
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: psyberpunk]
    #507082 - 12/20/10 05:59 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

psyberpunk said:
her ass is so big she looks retarded.




maybe if you are gay, or have gay tenacious ; }


--------------------
My lesbian neighbors gave me a watch, i guess they misunderstood when i said i wanted to watch.

:[




Edited by Choix Sinaloa (12/20/10 06:00 PM)


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Invisiblepsyberpunk
Lunatic


Registered: 11/02/10
Posts: 533
Loc: Behind a Pipe
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Choix Sinaloa]
    #507114 - 12/20/10 06:58 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Are you sure that's not a camel?


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Invisible13eetleJuice
The ghost with the most
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 368
Loc: 6' under fertalizing bud
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Choix Sinaloa]
    #507132 - 12/20/10 08:32 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Here's another look at us from an alien perspective, but not God.

Quote:

by Terry Bisson


“They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“Meat. They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“There’s no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They’re completely meat.”

“That’s impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?”

“They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don’t come from them. The signals come from machines.”

“So who made the machines? That’s who we want to contact.”

“They made the machines. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.”

“That’s ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You’re asking me to believe in sentient meat.”

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they’re made out of meat.”

“Maybe they’re like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage.”

“Nope. They’re born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn’t take long. Do you have any idea what’s the life span of meat?”

“Spare me. Okay, maybe they’re only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside.”

“Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They’re meat all the way through.”

“No brain?”

“Oh, there’s a brain all right. It’s just that the brain is made out of meat! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“So . . . what does the thinking?”

“You’re not understanding, are you? You’re refusing to deal with what I’m telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat.”

“Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!”

“Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?”

“Omigod. You’re serious then. They’re made out of meat.”

“Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they’ve been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years.”

“Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?”

“First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual.”

“We’re supposed to talk to meat.”

“That’s the idea. That’s the message they’re sending out by radio. ‘Hello. Anyone out there? Anybody home?’ That sort of thing.”

“They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?”

“Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat.”

“I thought you just told me they used radio.”

“They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.”

“Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?”

“Officially or unofficially?”

“Both.”

“Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing.”

“I was hoping you would say that.”

“It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?”

“I agree one hundred percent. What’s there to say? ‘Hello, meat. How’s it going?’ But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?”

“Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can’t live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact.”

“So we just pretend there’s no one home in the Universe.”

“That’s it.”

“Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You’re sure they won’t remember?”

“They’ll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we’re just a dream to them.”

“A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat’s dream.”

“And we marked the entire sector unoccupied.”

“Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?”

“Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen-core cluster intelligence in a class-nine star in G445 zone was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again.”

“They always come around.”

“And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone . . . ”





EDIT: P.S. - That ass is bangin! I'd tongue punch her chocolate starfish.


--------------------


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OfflineChoix Sinaloa
Coke
Male


Registered: 12/13/10
Posts: 185
Loc: Cali
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: 13eetleJuice]
    #507155 - 12/20/10 09:29 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

bwahahahaha,
that was a funny read.


--------------------
My lesbian neighbors gave me a watch, i guess they misunderstood when i said i wanted to watch.

:[




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OfflineeNtranceAsexit
Bang-a-Bang-Boogie


Registered: 11/23/10
Posts: 1,345
Last seen: 7 days, 1 hour
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Choix Sinaloa]
    #507369 - 12/21/10 12:29 AM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Choix Sinaloa said:
Quote:

psyberpunk said:
her ass is so big she looks retarded.




maybe if you are gay, or have gay tenacious ; }



uhhh, maybe that's the other way around, dude? :uhoh:


Chop a little hair into the mix and you've almost got Ted here.



--------------------



Edited by eNtranceAsexit (12/21/10 12:33 AM)


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InvisibleBlueBerry_SwisherS
Heart Slowed
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/19/10
Posts: 3,303
Loc: Raw Headspace Flag
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: eNtranceAsexit]
    #507662 - 12/21/10 06:13 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

O
Quote:

eNtranceAsexit said:
Quote:

Choix Sinaloa said:
Quote:

psyberpunk said:
her ass is so big she looks retarded.




maybe if you are gay, or have gay tenacious ; }



uhhh, maybe that's the other way around, dude? :uhoh:


Chop a little hair into the mix and you've almost got Ted here.





It is huge. But I'm a girl lol what do I know I personally like my mini ghetto booty. :tongue2:


--------------------


Let food be thy medicine


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OfflineeNtranceAsexit
Bang-a-Bang-Boogie


Registered: 11/23/10
Posts: 1,345
Last seen: 7 days, 1 hour
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: BlueBerry_Swisher]
    #507700 - 12/21/10 08:37 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Nothing wrong with big bootay...  If I can get my face cranked around  360 degrees from two buttcheek wrenches, I am all for it.


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OfflineChoix Sinaloa
Coke
Male


Registered: 12/13/10
Posts: 185
Loc: Cali
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: BlueBerry_Swisher]
    #507732 - 12/21/10 09:55 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

A7X said:
O
Quote:

eNtranceAsexit said:
Quote:

Choix Sinaloa said:
Quote:

psyberpunk said:
her ass is so big she looks retarded.




maybe if you are gay, or have gay tenacious ; }



uhhh, maybe that's the other way around, dude? :uhoh:


Chop a little hair into the mix and you've almost got Ted here.





It is huge. But I'm a girl lol what do I know I personally like my mini ghetto booty. :tongue2:




post a pic!


--------------------
My lesbian neighbors gave me a watch, i guess they misunderstood when i said i wanted to watch.

:[




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OfflineeNtranceAsexit
Bang-a-Bang-Boogie


Registered: 11/23/10
Posts: 1,345
Last seen: 7 days, 1 hour
Re: What happens when we die? [Re: Choix Sinaloa]
    #507735 - 12/21/10 09:57 PM (5 years, 11 months ago)

:smokeweedallday:

Lets all post our junk. Lets just get this stuff outta the way.


--------------------



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