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OfflineFRACTALife
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JESUS H. FUCK
    #632070 - 07/19/12 02:17 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

I just got my ass handed to me by DMT.  :noargument:


The past three mornings I've had some great experiences with DMT but this morning I wanted to go deeper. I knew I wasn't there yet.


My first bowl of DMT led to a good trip nothing too new. My second bowl I added a little more and this time I took Nick Sand's advice of choosing some piece of art in my room to focus on. I chose one of my very trippy blacklight posters.


It was amazing to see how much more detail and beauty the poster had, like a window to the next world. I went to go lay down. I felt a connection a mother alien type thing and I felt my hand become this sort of very intimate warmth and it connect to some sort of large cord from some alien mother. I felt them healing my soul and working on my being. This trip was very beautiful, healing, and intense but I still felt I wasn't there.

I decided to make prepare one more with a little more DMT than I used before and this time I combined it with kief. I had never done this before.

I didn't even know if I had inhaled anything but apparently it vaporized very well with the keif because I blew out a very large cloud of smoke from my nostrils. I knew something was about to happen.


My whole body felt so weird, partly uncomfortable partly amazing. I felt a shiver through my legs and a tension throughout my body. It was like the first time I ever smoked DMT but far more intense.

It was like everything in this world was blinking on and off like a strobe light. Everything was moving a million miles per hour. I don't was begging to please stay alive and I would never do this again if god just let me survive:lol:. (although I am for sure going to do it again)

I was in between bouts of intense fear, beautiful appreciate, and giggling at my own self. :awesomenod:

Really showed my my place in the universe.


I'm having trouble remembering it all now as I was interrupted by a surprise visitor right afterward as I was trying to write it all down, but will update with more details later as I piece this whole thing together.

I had no idea to expect that, and it's like the DMT spirits must have been- "This kid has been poking his head in here for three days in a row. We just healed his soul but he still wants more! Let's really show him something and scare the fuck out of him.":lmao:

I am so grateful for it.

But holy shit.


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Edited by FRACTALife (07/19/12 02:19 PM)


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InvisibleHarry_Ba11sachM
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: FRACTALife] * 2
    #632073 - 07/19/12 03:17 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

So you were begging and pleading with God and promised to never do it again, he held up his end of the bargain and you're going to just turn around and do it again?

Obviously you learned nothing.


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InvisibleHawksresurrection
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: Harry_Ba11sach]
    #632074 - 07/19/12 03:20 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

I :lolsy: at the black light poster...


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Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.

-niteowl


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Offlineremix
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: FRACTALife] * 1
    #632078 - 07/19/12 04:03 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

you're actually dead. this is the afterlife. it's pretty much like life before except there's more porn and the women are slightly easier.


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OfflineFRACTALife
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: Hawksresurrection]
    #632080 - 07/19/12 04:17 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Harry_Ba11sach said:
So you were begging and pleading with God and promised to never do it again, he held up his end of the bargain and you're going to just turn around and do it again?

Obviously you learned nothing.




I am a spiritual person but I don't believe in God and I don't pray, but I was very desperate in that moment.

I'm not going to do the EXACT same thing again, although I am going to do DMT again, but I'll be more cautious and respectful. I underestimated DMT and I won't do that again.




I did learn a lot from this trip. Mostly about how much more I have left to learn and how silly and stupid I can be sometimes. And how truly amazing and scary this chemical is.

I think hard/bad trips are more therapeutic for a lot of reasons. One being that they leave you more unattached to certain beliefs. I let go of a little of my attachment to psychedelics in that trip. 

Quote:

hawksapprentice said:
I :lolsy: at the black light poster...




You are :lolsy: now but you don't know how amazing that poster is. :lol:


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Edited by FRACTALife (07/19/12 04:18 PM)


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OfflineFRACTALife
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: Harry_Ba11sach]
    #632081 - 07/19/12 04:21 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

Do you think it would be better for to never do DMT again, Harry?

I respect the fact that I am still here through that experience. I don't think I was ever in danger of dying, although who knows. But I am still here now. If anyone/anything beside the natural chaos of the universe has anything to do with that, I thank them for it. If not I am just thankful to myself and the universe (which are really one thing) for being alive.

Part of me knew that I was safe during that experience, but I was blown away. But if there is some being(s) out there who let me live through experience, do you think they would really rather I not do DMT ever again?

I did vote up your post though, Harry. Thanks for challenging me and forcing me to think more.


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Edited by FRACTALife (07/19/12 04:25 PM)


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Invisiblestill beLIEve
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: FRACTALife] * 1
    #632085 - 07/19/12 05:48 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

it might be a solid plan to give it some time before doing it again. DMT has a way of lashing out if you disrespect it. I would consider doing it three mornings in a row not respecting it.

I love the shit outta some DMT, but i usually only do it once every 2-3 months when i get a feeling/calling to do so.

I used to smoke it on a whim, and it didn't treat me well.


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niteowl said:
See, that term pedo gets thrown around a lot.
Is a 16 year old guy having sex w/a 16 year old girl a pedophile?
If not, then how is a 30 year old considered a pedophile for doing the same thing?
I think y'all need to look up the definition for pedophile.


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InvisibleHarry_Ba11sachM
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: FRACTALife]
    #632094 - 07/19/12 07:23 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

FRACTALife said:
Quote:

Harry_Ba11sach said:
So you were begging and pleading with God and promised to never do it again, he held up his end of the bargain and you're going to just turn around and do it again?

Obviously you learned nothing.




I am a spiritual person but I don't believe in God and I don't pray, but I was very desperate in that moment.






I guess all I'm getting at is this; who's to say that was actually GOD that saved you? You prayed to a diety, and then mention immediately feeling a connection with beings of unknown existence and origin. Maybe they who connected with you are also they who are responsible for your safety. I think you should do whatever you want, but it's interesting that you're so willing to renig on a contract like that, even after meeting the beings in person. Seems to me like perhaps asking for trouble.

Quote:

FRACTALife said:
Do you think it would be better for to never do DMT again, Harry?

I respect the fact that I am still here through that experience. I don't think I was ever in danger of dying, although who knows. But I am still here now. If anyone/anything beside the natural chaos of the universe has anything to do with that, I thank them for it. If not I am just thankful to myself and the universe (which are really one thing) for being alive.

Part of me knew that I was safe during that experience, but I was blown away. But if there is some being(s) out there who let me live through experience, do you think they would really rather I not do DMT ever again?

I did vote up your post though, Harry. Thanks for challenging me and forcing me to think more.




Nobody can answer those questions but you. Of course you were in no danger of dying for real, but part of you thought you were, so that change of heart is something to think about.

Also I appreciate you seeing my post for what it was, a conversation initiative, to get you to introspectively view your own actions, and not what it wasn't, incendiary and inflammatory and insulting.


Cheers.


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OfflineFRACTALife
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: Harry_Ba11sach]
    #632112 - 07/19/12 09:34 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Harry_Ba11sach said:



I guess all I'm getting at is this; who's to say that was actually GOD that saved you? You prayed to a diety, and then mention immediately feeling a connection with beings of unknown existence and origin. Maybe they who connected with you are also they who are responsible for your safety. I think you should do whatever you want, but it's interesting that you're so willing to renig on a contract like that, even after meeting the beings in person. Seems to me like perhaps asking for trouble.

.




It was on my second, much less intense trip, before the scary one that I contacted with that beautiful healing, esoteric, mother of the universe type creature.

It was during my last trip that I was panicking and I asked "god" to let me live. When I did it I knew it was a shallow thing to do and that it wasn't my place yet to stop using psychedelics and while it did bring me a little bit of relief to think maybe God was up in Heaven and was was saving me, I never felt any connection from any DMT-esque Gods that had soothed me in my previous trips, and I didn't really think I was asking them in that moment- rather the fictional God that I wondered about and prayed to as a little kid.

Asking "God" was one of many things I did to try and calm down, I also tried- meditating, laying down in a few different positions, closing/opening my eyes. Every time I did I closed my eyes there an amazing psychedelic expanse before my eyes. I did enjoy a lot of the trip, but it blew me away.



Part of the reason the last trip was so intense was because I vaporized it properly and it was bigger than the other bowls. Before I was mixing my DMT with bud and it was burning up. But when i mixed it with the kief it vaporized so smoothly. I probably put on more DMT than I needed, as I wasn't wasting any up in burning it now. I got it all in in one toke so it was the most hit of DMT I probably have ever taken.


If I had been prepared for this and was better able to relax I probably would have gone somewhere else with the trip and then one of the self transforming machine elves maybe would have came out and helped me through.


Cheers. :thumbup:


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OfflineFRACTALife
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: still beLIEve]
    #632117 - 07/19/12 09:55 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

still beLIEve said:
it might be a solid plan to give it some time before doing it again. DMT has a way of lashing out if you disrespect it. I would consider doing it three mornings in a row not respecting it.

I love the shit outta some DMT, but i usually only do it once every 2-3 months when i get a feeling/calling to do so.

I used to smoke it on a whim, and it didn't treat me well.




Hey man! :grin::heart:

I will definitely give it some downtime if you think it is a good idea.

As you know I still am taking adderall during the day so that's why I enjoyed having some  DMT sessions in the morning and then being able to take the adderall after I've come down and move on with my day. I always take the same dose of Adderall and I'm just still taking it because I haven't taken the time to get off of it yet. But I've been on it so long it doesn't have much of an effect, it's just my normal body chemistry. After taking my Adderall I knew I wouldn't use DMT more throughout the rest of the day, but I'd be able to reflect on it and try again in the morning.

I was playing with the chemical the last few morning and getting familiar with it and finding the best way to use it. I feel like today I found the most efficient way of using it. I was excited to possibly using a smaller amount (than my last bowl) in this new efficient method tomorrow morning and exploring space one more time before taking a break for a few days-few weeks.

I will think on it and see how I feel in the morning, but I probably will take your (and possibly DMT's) opinion and take a break for a few days.

I think what is more important to respecting the chemical is not keeping going back into hyperspace after my first trip of the morning. It's obvious to me now the reason for doing this was because I wasn't 100% satisfied because I hadn't found the most efficient way of vaporizing it. It feels good now that I have.

It also feels really good knowing this amazing realm DMT opens up to and knowing I have a lot of the chemical left to do future exploration and growing. :heart:


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OfflineFRACTALife
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: Harry_Ba11sach]
    #632601 - 07/25/12 11:17 AM (4 years, 4 months ago)

This morning I decided to took another trip after thinking quite a bit about my last trip and integrating my past DMT experiences and trying to use those lessons in life.

I put only a little bit of DMT in my pipe, and because of what happened in my last trip I took time to sit down and not only meditate but pray.

During my meditation, once I felt centered- I offered to God and/or the DMT gods- "I'm sorry for disrespecting this sacrament. I'm coming back because I think I still have more to see and learn from this. If I am wrong please let me know gently and I won't come back. Please let my voyage be safe and gentle."

I went outside to smoke it, but it must have not been quite enough.
I felt the DMT vibrations through my body but nothing more.


So I put a little more DMT in my pipe and this time got a pretty good toke out of it. It was still a low dose though, and I began to think maybe these low dose DMT trips were not worth doing.

Then a plane flew overhead and I looked up. The plane set off the weirdness and things started to morph.

I felt a deep love and warmth flow through, so intimate and beautiful- something I've never felt before. It was glorious. My hands on the grass and dirt of this beautiful earth felts like a very intimate sex act. I was closer to nature than ever before.


I laid outside in grass for quite a while.

That's going to be my last trip for today. I really wanted to load up another bowl and  breakthrough but I figured it would be smarter to wait until tomorrow or Friday morning; considering my last trip was so powerful and I prayed for a safe and gentle voyage back into the DMT realm and I got one.


I feel great and still feel the love. DMT is such a strange miracle.:inlove3:

The next time I smoke it, I feel I am more ready to let go to the experience, however not gentle it is.


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InvisibleHawksresurrection
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: FRACTALife]
    #632618 - 07/25/12 02:50 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

Man I wish I had a bunch of DMT.....


--------------------
Dude she isn't as young as she use to be.

-niteowl


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OfflineManitou
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Re: JESUS H. FUCK [Re: Hawksresurrection]
    #632620 - 07/25/12 02:59 PM (4 years, 4 months ago)

I wish I ever had DMT lols


--------------------
Pour un instant, j'ai respiré très fort
Ça m'a permis de visiter mon corps
Des inconnus vivent en roi chez moi
Moi qui avait accepté leurs lois
J'ai perdu mon temps à gagner du temps
J'ai besoin de me trouver une histoire à me conter
Pour instant j'ai oublié mon nom
Harmonium - Pour un instant
--------------------------------------------
For pictures of my weed, go to the Québec Ganja! Thread (Newly updated 20/05/2015)


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