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Invisibleusg543
◕‿◕
 Arcade Champion: A Blast

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen
    #56741 - 06/13/08 12:42 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)



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Invisiblemaggotz


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 992
Re: don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen [Re: usg543]
    #56748 - 06/13/08 01:12 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
  3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
  4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  18. Honk and wave to strangers.
  19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  21. type only in lowercase.
  22. dont use any punctuation either
  23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
      "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
      "What?"
      "Never mind, it's gone now."
  25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
  27. Ask people what gender they are.
  28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  30. Sing along at the opera.
  31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

:ilold::bigblunt:


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Invisibleusg543
◕‿◕
 Arcade Champion: A Blast

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
Re: don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen [Re: maggotz]
    #56750 - 06/13/08 01:14 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

:rappers:


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Invisibleandyistic
We got them veenoms!

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 10,990
Loc: On the Lot
Re: don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen [Re: maggotz]
    #56773 - 06/13/08 01:39 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I do a few annoying things when I'm driving:

  • I honk at people ahead of me even though I know they can't go anywhere
  • I flip people off when I see them talking on their cell
  • If someone wants to change lanes ahead of me, I speed up so they don't have room to do it.
  • I signal as if I want to turn, but I don't turn at all.


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Invisibleusg543
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 Arcade Champion: A Blast

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
Re: don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen [Re: andyistic]
    #56776 - 06/13/08 01:45 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

one time while driving i cut in front of this slow bitch, she gives me the finger so i start going like 60 riding next to a 18 wheeler. i do this for about 30 minutes no joke. she was so mad by then, absolutely furious.

2 hours later i'm still driving on the same interstate, over  150 miles from where this happened... i see a black car coming up really quick behind me in traffic. he's absolutely flying. probably going over 130 in a black sports car (i was going 100). he catches up and gets in front of me. the fucker starts slowing down so i go around him, he goes back around me and fucking stops his car. so i have to swerve out of the way (we were going like 90). i'm in a truck so needless to say this guy can play games with me all day. he gets back in front, stops his car completely. so i stop. dead stop in traffic. he gets out of his car, opens my door grabs me by the shirt, rips it and puts his fist up like hes gonna punch the shit out of me and just yells his head off like "you stupid mother fucker my wife is in that car". i had no idea what he was talking about. he slams my door shut and starts hitting my car. then gets back in his car and leaves.

he was a BIG guy, and i was 18 years old, young and skinny (still am). i call 911 lol. a trooper tells me to pull over and comes to talk to me. said people gave reports of me playing road games with someone hours ago... says if i press charges we both go to jail. so i didn't press charges.

one day i'm going to get his information and fuck him up.


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Invisibleusg543
◕‿◕
 Arcade Champion: A Blast

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 7,259
Re: don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen [Re: usg543]
    #56777 - 06/13/08 01:46 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

oh yeah, it was his wife that i cut in front of. some people are crazy. drove all that fucking way. why i don't fuck around and throw fingers in the air or fuck with people. road rage.

and supposedly i made her cry because i went 60 miles an hour??? i don't understand.

edit: next time i'll have one of these: http://www.kel-tec-cnc.com/pf9.html :wink:


Edited by usg543 (06/13/08 01:52 AM)


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Invisibleandyistic
We got them veenoms!

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 10,990
Loc: On the Lot
Re: don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen [Re: usg543]
    #56811 - 06/13/08 05:41 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Kind of reminds me of the movie Duel - something I should watch again.

They need to make an updated version of that movie.


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OfflineMFDoom666
trash hoarder
Male User Gallery Arcade Champion: Arkanoid, Donkey Kong


Registered: 04/24/08
Posts: 8,842
Loc: emerica
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
Re: don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen [Re: andyistic]
    #56839 - 06/13/08 11:43 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

edit: next time i'll have one of these: http://www.kel-tec-cnc.com/pf9.html :wink:




:albundy:

he won't be fuckin' with you next time.


--------------------

FurrowedBrow said:

They should teach african engineering at the college level.  mcgyver 101

Harry_Ba11sach said:

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?


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OfflineHanky
Fat Ladies Bingo


Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 2,397
Loc: Ass Flavour Pie Factory
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: don't nobody nobody fuck with my kitchen [Re: andyistic]
    #56840 - 06/13/08 11:49 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

andyistic said:
Kind of reminds me of the movie Duel - something I should watch again.

They need to make an updated version of that movie.




They'd only fuck it up, the original is a classic and should be left alone.


--------------------
Coaster Said:  "wut do u post bout flumbooyon"


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