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Invisibleniteowl
GrandPaw
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Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,393
Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal
    #214132 - 04/10/09 12:07 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Link

Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman Loera reported head of the Sinaloa cartel in Mexico, ranked 701st on Forbes' yearly report of the wealthiest men alive, and worth an estimated $1 billion, today officially thanked United States politicians for making sure that drugs remain illegal.

According to one of his closest confidants, he said, "I couldn't have gotten so stinking rich without George Bush, George Bush Jr., Ronald Reagan, even El Presidente Obama, none of them have the cajones to stand up to all the big money that wants to keep this stuff illegal. From the bottom of my heart, I want to say, Gracias amigos, I owe my whole empire to you."

According to sources in the Mexican government, President Calderon is begging American officials to, in the words of reggae great Peter Tosh, legalize it. "Oh yeah," said an official close to the Mexican president, "Felipe is going crazy. He's screaming at everybody who comes in, 'Why don't they make this sh*t legal already! You're killing me here!' Look, everyone knows, when you have Prohibition, you create gangsters. And the more you prohibit, the more gangsters you make. El Chapo is hero now to all those slumdogs who want to be millionaires. Kids in the street, when they play games, they all want to be El Chapo, the baddest man in the whole damn town."
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Meanwhile, many speculate that rich and prominent Mexican families are in cahoots with American businessmen in the alcohol industry, wealthy industrialists who launder the unprecedented profits from the drug business with their legitimate enterprises, and lawmakers who get gigantic kickbacks and payoffs to make sure that these drugs remain illegal, so they can remain rich, fat and happy. According to sources on both sides of the border, tens of millions of dollars in payoffs and kickbacks are stashed in Swiss banks every year, blood money from the brutal business made possible by a corrupt system supported by laws that don't, and have never, worked.

Rather than putting El Chapo and his kind out of business by modernizing outdated laws and in the process making billions of dollars from taxing drugs (as is done with cigarettes and alcohol), United States government has spent hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars chasing its tail, and offered a $5 million reward for the capture of El Chapo. Many have said that the offer is unofficially: Dead or Alive.

Meanwhile, as an epidemic of murderous violence rages on the Mexican-US border, and the American government wastes boatloads of badly needed money on the illegal drug business which results from the Prohibition laws, El Chapo is laughing all the way to the bank. "Whoever came up with this whole War on Drugs," one of his lieutenants reports he said, "I would like to kiss him on the lips and shake his hand and buy him dinner with caviar and champagne. The War on Drugs is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and the day they decide to end that war, will be a sad one for me and all of my closest friends. And if you don't believe me, ask those guys whose heads showed up in the ice chests."


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The Ego is a pathological condition
like a calcareous tumor or cyst
that begins growing in the personality
in the absence of hallucinogenic substances
-Terence McKenna-


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OfflineCoaster
I'm Back Baby
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Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 25,306
Loc: Sativa Central Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: niteowl]
    #214136 - 04/10/09 12:46 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

ya if dr00gz were legal i would be put out of business :tarantino:


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OfflineRombaZomba

Registered: 04/10/09
Posts: 3
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: niteowl]
    #214149 - 04/10/09 02:14 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Ahh, how sweet. :catfrog:


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Offlineherd
the responsible thizz head
Male

Registered: 03/24/09
Posts: 178
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: RombaZomba]
    #214555 - 04/11/09 05:04 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

your very welcome,no where my keys at


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Proud roach/dooby collector since 07


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Offlinelabrat265
Experimenter.
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
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Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: niteowl]
    #214871 - 04/12/09 01:03 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

The title says he officially thanks US lawmakers, but the article only quotes what others said that he said.  I don't think there was one fact in this article outside the first sentence.

It could be very well that this is only legalization propaganda.


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OfflineRombaZomba

Registered: 04/10/09
Posts: 3
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: labrat265]
    #214877 - 04/12/09 01:35 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

He had to have shipped a lot of cocaine in to the US if he made Forbes Billionaire list.  I'd be a happy camper too If I made that much being a Mexican Drug Cartel.


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OfflineTHEBats
The Bridge Master
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 8,488
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: labrat265]
    #214878 - 04/12/09 01:36 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

it's satire people......


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kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day.  :twobooks:


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Invisiblestill beLIEve
State Property..Again
Male

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,167
Loc: a world thats not my own
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: THEBats]
    #214901 - 04/12/09 02:46 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

lol that arcticle is so fucked.

i hate our government with a dying passion.

its time for revolt, and a move to a new socio economic class. the marxist view.


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niteowl said:
See, that term pedo gets thrown around a lot.
Is a 16 year old guy having sex w/a 16 year old girl a pedophile?
If not, then how is a 30 year old considered a pedophile for doing the same thing?
I think y'all need to look up the definition for pedophile.


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OfflineLeeland
Beautiful Stranger

Registered: 12/17/09
Posts: 14
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: still beLIEve]
    #332675 - 12/17/09 11:55 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

No shit?


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Offline81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,181
Loc: State of Mind Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 21 days
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Leeland]
    #332684 - 12/17/09 12:04 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

THEBats said: it's satire people......




Leeland, are you going for some kind of record here? Most ancient posts bumped by a new member? I already gave you one, but here's another award.

:trophy: :trophy: :thumbup:

Where will you strike next?


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"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut


BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.


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InvisibleShr0000ooooms
Cannabis Sampler


Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 3,870
Loc: Hindu Kush Mountains
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Leeland]
    #332688 - 12/17/09 12:07 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

This may be a signal to end the drug war but the government is too stupid to look at the facts. They probably don't realize that this article is screaming "legalize drugs or get people killed and spend money when you could be gaining money."


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If I'm posting I'm high.


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InvisibleStonethM
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 24,069
Loc: No where ville, USA Flag
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: 81renaissance]
    #332689 - 12/17/09 12:08 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

I'm about to give him/her something.:rofl:


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:getstoned:


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InvisibleShr0000ooooms
Cannabis Sampler


Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 3,870
Loc: Hindu Kush Mountains
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Leeland]
    #332690 - 12/17/09 12:08 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Leeland said:
No shit?



8 month old thread to say that? :nonono: :ban:


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If I'm posting I'm high.


Edited by Shr0000ooooms (12/17/09 12:08 PM)


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InvisibleTriptonic
Male Arcade Champion: Spider Jump


Registered: 06/14/08
Posts: 15,581
Loc: Flag
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Shr0000ooooms]
    #332692 - 12/17/09 12:11 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

I liked reading this article, and wouldnt have found it unless he bumped it. I dont think he should be banned.


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InvisibleStonethM
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 24,069
Loc: No where ville, USA Flag
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Triptonic]
    #332696 - 12/17/09 12:13 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Who said anything about a ban?

I always give warnings and wxplain what's up.

You know this man.:rofl:


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InvisibleTriptonic
Male Arcade Champion: Spider Jump


Registered: 06/14/08
Posts: 15,581
Loc: Flag
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Stoneth]
    #332699 - 12/17/09 12:14 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

lol, I've only been banned 3 times. I think.


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InvisibleTriptonic
Male Arcade Champion: Spider Jump


Registered: 06/14/08
Posts: 15,581
Loc: Flag
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Triptonic]
    #332701 - 12/17/09 12:16 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

I know I've only been banned by you though.


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InvisibleStonethM
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 24,069
Loc: No where ville, USA Flag
Re: Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Triptonic]
    #332705 - 12/17/09 12:19 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Triptonic said:
lol, I've only been banned 3 times. I think.



Quote:

Triptonic said:
I know I've only been banned by you though.



Yes all three times.:rofl:


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:getstoned:


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