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Fazed
and dazed
Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 1,783
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What would you do?
#705398 - 01/08/14 08:05 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hi people, so I'll make this as brief as possible...
Just recently my friend of about 5 years has recently proposed to get married to his very controlling gf. I have been invited to the wedding but having never liked her from the minute I met her (super arrogant and ignorant person) I don't exactly want to celebrate the wedding in any way sahape or form. She's convinced him to move away from all his friends with her and that isn't helping as I know that I won't see him again once they've moved as I barely see him now as it is. Her motivation was that all her friends are in the other city where they're moving too and she has made no attempts at making friends where they're at (probably because of her stinking attitude that not just me has noticed.)
So I recently got invited to go paintballing for his pre wedding celebration followed by a few drinks later on. I declined the offer of paintballing but stated I may join them for drinks knowing full well I won't.
I'm now thinking wether I should confront him and tell him how opposed to the wedding I am aknowledging the fact that he's a grown man and can do what he wants but I would like nothing to do with it as what he has done is turned his back on all his friends and let himself to be controlled by this annoying bitch. I also hate weddings in general and believe they're completely useless and a waste of time and money. You don't need all that bullshit to tell someone that you love them and you will stay loyal anyway. So guys, what would you do? As his friend I feel obliged to be straight up with him and tell him how it is.
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: What would you do? [Re: Fazed] 1
#705399 - 01/08/14 08:12 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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If it was my friend I would tell him how I felt about it but overall support him. If he wants to marry his current fuckhole then let him. Maybe that's what makes him happy. I dont think he'd agree to marry her if he didnt feel it would work and would make his life happy. So in the big picture, maybe you are just being selfish and maybe you need to accept that he's moving a different direction in his life
It's hard losing friends but it happens.
My 2 cents
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RasJeph
Psycho Pete
Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 11,657
Loc: Bumfuckt Egypt
Last seen: 4 months, 23 days
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Re: What would you do? [Re: Fazed]
#705407 - 01/08/14 08:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I had a horrible cunt of a girlfriend myself years ago. I know all my friends felt like you, but never spoke up. When all was said and done, I really wish they had. I spent multiple miserable years with that bitch, and since nobody brought it up, I felt like maybe I was just being picky. I didn't marry her, but I probably would have if it didn't end in a flaming wreck.
Don't be a horrible dick about it, but pull him aside and just ask him if he is sure. If he insists upon fucking his life up, its his life to fuck up I guess. You'll feel better knowing you tried.
-------------------- Of course it's happening inside your head. Why should that mean it isn't real?
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poor boy
Village Idiot
Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
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Re: What would you do? [Re: Fazed]
#705410 - 01/08/14 08:32 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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you can express how you feel, but ultimately, its not up to you. sounds like youre jealous and want to take place of said girlfriend. also, there are some guys who like woman that take control. its like a weird mother issue. i dunno... fuck that though. i get irritated over little shit like when my chick makes idiot comments when im driving.
bitch, im driving, shut the fuck up! i dont care if they had their turning single on! the fuck is a red light?! speeding? shiiit. this aint fast...
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Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns I'm a retarded, disfigured clown Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,765
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Re: What would you do? [Re: Fazed]
#705413 - 01/08/14 08:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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If you truly consider yourself his friend, then you have to gently point some things out for him. Sometimes people get blinded by love in strange, unhealthy ways and can't see all the bad that's going on around them.
Accept that he may get defensive and you may loose him as a friend, for a while. As the truth of the matter slowly sinks in, your truthful words will be the ones he dwells on the most. Making you the only true friend he had and he will return to you and thank you for your advice.
-------------------- The Ego is a pathological conditionlike a calcareous tumor or cystthat begins growing in the personalityin the absence of hallucinogenic substances-Terence McKenna-
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Picklez
Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: What would you do? [Re: poor boy] 1
#705419 - 01/08/14 09:05 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Psh, I get mad when mine talks at all, unless it's the questions "what would you like for dinner tonight" or "who is playing tonight"
Anything else annoys me. If this doesnt work out, I might look into dating a mute
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Fazed
and dazed
Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 1,783
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Re: What would you do? [Re: niteowl]
#705420 - 01/08/14 09:06 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thanks for the advice guys. Truly given me a lot to think about there.
All I know is if it was me I would want to be told straight instead of being talked about behind my back. I guess next time he rings I'll put it to him gently like suggested as there's no need to be horrible about it. It's his decision at the end of the day.
Thanks again, your input was appreciated.
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poor boy
Village Idiot
Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
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Re: What would you do? [Re: Picklez]
#705424 - 01/08/14 09:15 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Picklez said: Psh, I get mad when mine talks at all, unless it's the questions "what would you like for dinner tonight" or "who is playing tonight"
Anything else annoys me. If this doesnt work out, I might look into dating a mute
Yeah... If I'm not talking to her then I obivously don't want to talk or hear her talk. I'm pretty easy when it comes to me being happy in a relationship.
Sexy sex; not just sex. You have to get my mind dick hard too Food; if I'm hungry, fuck off. Keep me not hungry No bitching or complainging; get over it, shit happens
Follow those and ill be happy and every thing will fall into place.
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Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns I'm a retarded, disfigured clown Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better
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