Home | Community | Message Board



Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Growery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   PhytoExtractum Kratom Powder for Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
OfflineSlave of Cthulhu
Marijuana Connoisseur
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,131
Loc: R'lyeh
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
The Book of Man Law * 1
    #537659 - 03/17/11 03:46 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Hella just found something I wrote back in High School. I thought you guys might get a kick out of it. I sure did, haha. A few of the things in there I found online but most of it came from me. Feel free to call me retarded.


Book Of Man Law
Written For Men, By Men



Table Of Contents

Section I:
- Men and Other Men

Section II:
- A Mans Wife and or Girlfriend

Section III:
- Men and Food

Section IV:
- Men and Sex

Section V:
- Men In Life or Death Situations

Section VI:
- Men and Drinking

Section VII:
- Men and Shopping

Section VIII:
- A Mans Manliness

Section IX:
- Men and Movies




Section I: Men And Other Men


1. Thou shalt inform all men about this book, in order to further the cause for manliness.  Any man who leaves his fellow man in the dark shall no longer be considered a man.
2. Thou shalt not peek at another man when urinating…(eyes on the wall)
3. Thou shalt not do anything sexual with another man IN ANY CASE!
4. If you lick an object, it is henceforth your property until another man claims it by doing the same thing.
5. Thou shalt never disrespect another mans mother.
6. Thou shalt always be sure your daughter’s boyfriend knows who is the boss.
7. Thou shalt never ask another man to help you move without paying him with a beer.
8. Thou must know another man for at least six months before you can ask him to help you move.
9. Thou must wait two years before you ask the same man to help you move again




Section II: A Man And A Women

1. Thou shalt not hit or abuse a woman.
2. Thou shalt not cheat on a woman.
3. Thou shalt always treat a girl like a lady, because courtesy goes a long way in the modern world.  Unless she proves otherwise!
4. Thou shalt not chase around or stalk any woman who is not interested in him.
5. Thou shalt use duct tape for anything found broken.  Save for items falling within womanly territory, unless asked by the female owner or said item to fix it.




Section III: Men And Food

1. Thou shalt only have one bit of vegetables per every three bites of meat.
2. Thou shalt never break bread with a knife; he shalt use his bare hands.  Knives are only permitted for items such as jelly, where it has a sticky consistency.
3. Thou shalt not eat foods like coos coos, quiche, and other non-manly foods.
4. Thou shalt have a beer with every dinner.



Section IV: Men And Sex

1. Thou shalt not rape.
2. If you and your significant other are doing it doggy style, remember that you can both be watching T.V.  Keep this in mind.
3. Thou shalt not come unless your significant other has come first.  (It’s embarrassing to blow your load first.  Hold it in as long as possible.  Try and say the alphabet backwards.)
4. Thou shalt perfect his ways in bed.  (Its not good if you suck.)
5. Remember…NO FAT CHICKS!



Section V: Men In Life or Death Situations

1. Asking for directions is acceptable ONLY in life or death situations.
2. Thou shalt never admit, “I don’t know” to a female.  Only in life or death situations is it acceptable.  Try and ask ones fellow man before admitting you don’t know.
3. No man should ever hit another man in the testicles unless it’s a life or death situation.  It’s just not right…




Section VI: Men And Drinking

1. Thou shalt conduct himself in a manner when drinking.
2. Thou shalt always have beer when guest are over.
3. Thou shalt never order bitch beer when in a bar.
4. Beer is acceptable with any afternoon or evening meal.



Section VII: Men And Shopping

1. Man shall never find himself more comfortable in a shopping mall than a forest.
2. Men do not shop.  Men buy things.
3. When in a store, buy ONLY what you need.
4. Never let a woman pick out clothes for you.  (Its embarrassing)



Section VIII: A Mans Manliness

1. If your playing any sport and you get injured and taken off the field in a stretcher, you had better be rushed to the hospital and not standing on your own two feet. 
2. It is NOT okay for a man to get a manicure!
3. A real man would never become a tow truck driver.
4. Men shall work to reinstate the code of chivalry because it is good to act honorably and carry a sword.
5. Thou shalt not act like a little girl, which means no stealing another man’s seats, smacking, slapping, whining, etc.
6. It is not okay to use the word “cute”.
7. It’s okay for a man to leave the toilet seat up.  It’s what men do.
8. A real man would choose death before dishonor.
9. Thou shalt never pick up a seashell while walking down the beach.  It’s just not manly. 
10. Once a day, try to stand like Captain Morgan.




Section IX:  Men And Movies

1. By the time a man reaches adolescence, he should have watched every Rambo and Terminator movie.
2. Thou shalt never watch a soap opera willingly.
3. Thou shalt never willingly watch any movie featuring Sandra Bullock, and/or Julia Roberts.  Unless your significant other promises to put out after-wards.


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibledrawde

Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: Slave of Cthulhu]
    #537669 - 03/17/11 04:12 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

8. A real man would choose death before dishonor.


--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSlave of Cthulhu
Marijuana Connoisseur
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,131
Loc: R'lyeh
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: drawde]
    #537672 - 03/17/11 04:43 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Yeah, I like that one too.


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineShroomofdoom
Menace 2 Society
Male


Registered: 10/28/10
Posts: 401
Loc: Dark side of the moon
Last seen: 12 years, 13 days
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: Slave of Cthulhu]
    #537677 - 03/17/11 05:22 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

haha, Like it man +5 from me.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleiStoner
Astral Beast
Male


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: Shroomofdoom]
    #537685 - 03/17/11 06:08 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

10. Once a day, try to stand like Captain Morgan.
:lol:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMFDoom666
trash hoarder
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/24/08
Posts: 8,842
Loc: emerica
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: Slave of Cthulhu]
    #537705 - 03/17/11 08:19 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

great read.

lulz galore and truths revealed.


--------------------

FurrowedBrow said:

They should teach african engineering at the college level.  mcgyver 101

Harry_Ba11sach said:

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineFRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/19/10
Posts: 6,838
Loc: Carcosa Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 30 days
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: Slave of Cthulhu]
    #537739 - 03/17/11 10:25 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Quote:

Slave of Cthulhu said:

3. Thou shalt not do anything sexual with another man IN ANY CASE!








--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMFDoom666
trash hoarder
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/24/08
Posts: 8,842
Loc: emerica
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: FRACTALife]
    #537753 - 03/17/11 10:59 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Quote:

FRACTALife said:
Quote:

Slave of Cthulhu said:

3. Thou shalt not do anything sexual with another man IN ANY CASE!











:ilold:


--------------------

FurrowedBrow said:

They should teach african engineering at the college level.  mcgyver 101

Harry_Ba11sach said:

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSlave of Cthulhu
Marijuana Connoisseur
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,131
Loc: R'lyeh
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: MFDoom666]
    #537849 - 03/18/11 11:43 AM (13 years, 13 days ago)

Haha, I'm glad you guys like it. I wrote it for men everywhere. It was so random findin that file while searchin through my shit. It's like 6 years old now, haha. Feel free to add into it if you want. There's always room for more man law.


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineShaggy420
Male


Registered: 07/06/10
Posts: 3,372
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: Slave of Cthulhu]
    #537912 - 03/18/11 04:08 PM (13 years, 13 days ago)

:lol: gave me a good laugh +1


--------------------

:Awemush::happyweed::fasted::happyweed::Awemush:


http://www.clear-uk.org/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSlave of Cthulhu
Marijuana Connoisseur
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,131
Loc: R'lyeh
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: Shaggy420]
    #537913 - 03/18/11 04:11 PM (13 years, 13 days ago)

I'm glad brotha.
I really think I should get this published into like a pocket sized guide book.
I'd hand it out to men everywhere for like $5.


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibledrawde

Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,268
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: Slave of Cthulhu]
    #537922 - 03/18/11 04:57 PM (13 years, 13 days ago)

5. Thou shalt use duct tape for anything found broken.  Save for items falling within womanly territory, unless asked by the female owner or said item to fix it.

Thats alright but I think its a lot more manly to fix something legitimately.


--------------------
King Koopa said:
The amount of pot that Gask smokes is equivalent to a guy shooting heroin on weekends

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSlave of Cthulhu
Marijuana Connoisseur
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 5,131
Loc: R'lyeh
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: The Book of Man Law [Re: drawde]
    #537927 - 03/18/11 05:25 PM (13 years, 13 days ago)

Yeah, I agree. Feel free to revise it for me if you wish. Like I said, SOME of these I found online but most of em came from me.


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   PhytoExtractum Kratom Powder for Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Buying new books.
( 1 2 all )
Cannaboid 7,070 21 09/12/09 09:09 AM
by Cannaboid
* I think the law for everything should be 16
( 1 2 3 all )
Shr0000ooooms 5,721 42 11/20/10 06:01 AM
by niteowl
* Entrapment? No says Texas Law Enforcement. m3kgt 2,980 9 09/12/09 05:09 AM
by m3kgt
* The Next Level aka The Ten Laws of Cannabis World Spirit 1,337 3 10/03/09 04:58 PM
by World Spirit
* Federal Court Rules U.S. Govt May NOT Deliberately Subvert California’s Medical Marijuana Laws
( 1 2 all )
coAsTal 12,198 27 08/23/08 10:38 AM
by coAsTal
* Book Trade Picklez 2,887 19 02/10/11 06:03 AM
by Picklez
* books, iStoner 2,706 15 09/12/10 05:18 PM
by Shaggy420
* Book store morons.... Thebooedocksaint 2,308 6 04/06/10 04:47 PM
by SmOakland

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: FurrowedBrow, Harry_Ba11sach, Magash, Data, Stoneth, Dr. Siekadellyk
1,890 topic views. 4 members, 360 guests and 428 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:
Sporeworks
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.024 seconds spending 0.005 seconds on 12 queries.