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Offline81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Male

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,181
Loc: State of Mind Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 23 days
Border Patrol * 1
    #451018 - 07/24/10 10:48 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Yesterday I was making a 16 hour drive from my house to Dallas for a business meeting (some new software rollout).

Cruisin' along half baked, I drive right up to the fucking INS/Border Patrol Station in TEXAS!
I come to a stop and the fuckin' german shepherd immediately alerts the agents to my vehicle.
Now since the dog had alerted, they had probable cause, so I copped to the two joints and the dugout.
They take me inside and sit me down while they search my entire vehicle, they call me out once to ask where the rest of my stash is: I tell 'em that's it, and the agent with the dog straight up calls me a liar.
I tell them again that that's all I have, and they send me back inside the station.
Skip to ten minutes later, I get called to my car, one agent is holding my dugout and another says: "You've got 30 seconds to get in your car and disappear! Its your lucky day, cuz this shit isn't worth my time!"
Needless to say, I book outta there only to discover 3 miles down the road that the fuckin border patrol JACKED MY IPOD!  Fuckin' crooked cops.:nonono:
At least I wasn't arrested.


--------------------
"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut


BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.


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Offlinem3kgt
User
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/29/08
Posts: 1,008
Loc: G-Spot TX
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451020 - 07/24/10 10:54 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

welcome to Texas! Your lucky they didnt straight up tear into your car and then say, "well sorry the dog alerted us to this part of the vehicle", after the seats are all torn up and shit.


Also they like to take any cash found during a search. No way to prove it was there. :detectivescrotes:


--------------------


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Offline81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Male

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,181
Loc: State of Mind Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 23 days
Re: Border Patrol [Re: m3kgt]
    #451021 - 07/24/10 10:57 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Luckily my cash was in my pockets.
They were dicks too, and seriously there were EIGHT of them out there searching my car and then they would form a semi-circle around me whenever I came out to talk to them.


--------------------
"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut


BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.


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InvisibleFarBeyondDriven
Truthfully, I'm a bullshitter
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 13,834
Loc: Greenbow, Alabama
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451022 - 07/24/10 11:06 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Damn, that's fucked up dude.  Cops are criminals, fuck em all..


--------------------



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Offlineredrum187
Stranger

Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 8
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451023 - 07/24/10 11:08 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

This reminds me of an experience i had crossing the us/canada border.  We accidentally turned right instead of left leaving the duty free shop which sent us towards the canadian border, where they ask if we had anything to declare and the driver said no, all while we had the 3 cartons of cigs and like 8 bottles of liquor sitting in plain sight in the back seat *facepalm* anyways they searched our car, took our liquor and cigs and denied us entry and made us turn around.  When we reach the US customs office heading back in, we were stopped and searched AGAIN... not 3 minutes after being searched by the canadians.

All this time i had a small metal bowl in my pocket but they didn't find it at the canadian border.  In retrospect i probably should have tossed it as we were headed back to the US side, but i didn't.  Anyways, the US customs officer said i was acting nervous (i wonder why?) and threatened me with a cavity search so i gave up the bowl with the quickness.  They grilled me for a good 20 minutes about what else was in the car (nothing) and where my friends had their drugs hidden (they didnt have any.)

So he leaves me sitting in there alone for another good 10 minutes and stands in front of me and dismantles the pipe piece by piece in front of me and puts all the pieces in my hand and asks me how bad i want to keep it.  Of course i told him i could give a fuck less about the pipe at this point, and he points to the trash can and tells me throw it away and get the fuck out of here.

Obviously i did what he asked lol


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OfflineKaptKid
Spaced Pirate
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 5,504
Loc: Bright Side of the Sun
Last seen: 4 days, 12 hours
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451046 - 07/25/10 12:57 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Man , your free

Fuck , you got lucky your not in jail.

You were in S Texas. Meeting me would of been more fun than the border patrol.

                                    :getstoned:


--------------------
Child of the 60's, Tripping ever sence.


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Offline81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Male

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,181
Loc: State of Mind Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 23 days
Re: Border Patrol [Re: KaptKid]
    #451092 - 07/25/10 09:51 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

KaptKid said:
Man , your free

Fuck , you got lucky your not in jail.

You were in S Texas. Meeting me would of been more fun than the border patrol.

                                    :getstoned:




Truth.  The running joke with the people I've talked to about this is that I unintentionally bribed the agents with an ipod. :grin:

I can't wait until they see the first playlist: its the I-dosers and the titles are I-Heroin, I-Ecstasy, I-White Crosses, etc. :lol:


--------------------
"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut


BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.


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OfflineSmOakland
Now with Grow!
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/31/09
Posts: 2,653
Loc: Oaktown to NOLA
Last seen: 5 hours, 33 minutes
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451102 - 07/25/10 11:17 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Do you have a mac or a pc?


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OfflineThebooedocksaint
Dead Dictator
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Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 5,525
Loc: Wild & Free
Last seen: 18 days, 4 hours
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451113 - 07/25/10 12:17 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

81renaissance said:
Yesterday I was making a 16 hour drive from my house to Dallas for a business meeting (some new software rollout).

Cruisin' along half baked, I drive right up to the fucking INS/Border Patrol Station in TEXAS!
I come to a stop and the fuckin' german shepherd immediately alerts the agents to my vehicle.
Now since the dog had alerted, they had probable cause, so I copped to the two joints and the dugout.
They take me inside and sit me down while they search my entire vehicle, they call me out once to ask where the rest of my stash is: I tell 'em that's it, and the agent with the dog straight up calls me a liar.
I tell them again that that's all I have, and they send me back inside the station.
Skip to ten minutes later, I get called to my car, one agent is holding my dugout and another says: "You've got 30 seconds to get in your car and disappear! Its your lucky day, cuz this shit isn't worth my time!"
Needless to say, I book outta there only to discover 3 miles down the road that the fuckin border patrol JACKED MY IPOD!  Fuckin' crooked cops.:nonono:
At least I wasn't arrested.




Man, if that happened to me. I'd be down for killing some cops.

But I suppose an ipod isn't work life in jail/dieing.


--------------------
"To say that nothing is true, is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say that everything is permitted, is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic."

"Je pense, donc je suis (I am thinking, therefore I am)." -Rene Descartes

I am tired of Earth
I am tired of these people


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OfflineFRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/20/10
Posts: 6,835
Loc: Carcosa Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 11 hours
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451147 - 07/25/10 02:50 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

muther fuckers
:waits:

so sorry man :aum:


--------------------


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OfflineShaggy420
Male


Registered: 07/06/10
Posts: 3,372
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451167 - 07/25/10 03:36 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

:dudewtf: thats shocking.:mad2: and prison for 2 joints and a pipe?:confused:


--------------------

:Awemush::happyweed::fasted::happyweed::Awemush:


http://www.clear-uk.org/


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OfflineDungenessDank
Lord of the Flies


Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 9,372
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451168 - 07/25/10 03:38 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I'm just glad you got off man. What level of government do these guys work for? Are they state or federal employees?


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OfflinePicklez
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Folding@home Statistics
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Posts: 17,919
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: DungenessDank]
    #451286 - 07/25/10 08:32 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

If it was border patrol, then I believe that is a federal officer.

Just be lucky you arent sitting behind bars or having to go through legal bullshit. That would have sucked and costs you a lot more than an ipod

I wish they just stole my ipod when I got stopped for my DUI. I would have been dancing in the streets


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OfflineKilroy
old stoner
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Cold as Hell Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: Picklez]
    #451301 - 07/25/10 09:08 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I agree it would have cost a lot more if they busted you. In MN it is 1000 dollars and if you have to take any of there B.S. classes you have to pay for that too, not to mention any court cost. Glad you made out as well as you did friend


--------------------
Just smoke a bowl and get over your self
We are human beings first everything else is second
               

You can not hold anything I post against me for I am delusional


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Offlinetotalcrash5
Stranger

Registered: 07/08/10
Posts: 4
Loc: Southern Nevada
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: Kilroy]
    #451387 - 07/26/10 01:11 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

It's obvious they weren't looking for some everyday pot head!  It's good they just let you go. Anything more and it would be on your record or something and cost you some money and a lawyer. You got a good story to tell to all your online buddies now, eh? :wink:


--------------------
“Look at your comment, now back to mine. Now back at your comment now back to mine. Sadly it isn't mine, but if you stopped trolling and started posting legitimate comments it could look like mine. Look down, back up, where are you? You're scrolling through comments, writing the comment your comment could look like. What did you post? Back at mine, it's a reply saying something you want to hear. Look again the reply is now diamonds. Anything is possible when you think before you post.” –Tim, blood diamond commentator, parody of old spice commercial.


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Offline81renaissance
Coachella '13 KKOTY
Male

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,181
Loc: State of Mind Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 23 days
Re: Border Patrol [Re: totalcrash5]
    #451819 - 07/27/10 10:51 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

totalcrash5 said:
You got a good story to tell to all your online buddies now, eh? :wink:




And my IRL buddies! :lol:

Seriously though, The Growery was the first thing I thought about as I drove away. I was like: "Wait until I tell them about this!"


--------------------
"So it goes."
-Kurt Vonnegut


BlueBerry_Swisher said:I want French fries. No, I want a penis French. Thank you. I'm so excited. I can not contain myself. Now I eat chocolate. It is so good. I'm trying to rub it all over myself. And then lick. Now I need a hot shower. The end.


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OfflineKilroy
old stoner
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Cold as Hell Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #451836 - 07/27/10 11:10 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

TY for sharing it with us


--------------------
Just smoke a bowl and get over your self
We are human beings first everything else is second
               

You can not hold anything I post against me for I am delusional


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Offlinefungi
.
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Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 168
Loc: Silicon Sizzle, CA USA Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: Kilroy]
    #452094 - 07/27/10 11:03 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Cops stole my graduation watch and cell phone when I went to jail. My recommendation, never want to go to jail. But I wanted to know how it was inside; social psychology experiment I guess you could call it.

If you are stupid and want to go to jail, well say you have ADD. Speed is a nice source of income in jail or prison. Free food and drugs! It's funny, when I was in jail I organized the largest pruno creation ever. Got to smoke cigs because I made friends without even trying / selling drugs.

I can see why some people love jail and prison; if you don't have taste buds and don't mind the occasional fight; it's paradise.


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Offlinealienscience
Farve in training
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Registered: 01/04/11
Posts: 473
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Border Patrol [Re: 81renaissance]
    #565252 - 06/18/11 12:22 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Your lucky they didn't arrest you.  You'd probably have lost your job.  I'd be more careful smoking from now on.  Maybe only smoke joints, and get a smelly proof bag or something.


--------------------
Official member of MAPS

User does not condone or encourage illegal/illicit behavior.


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