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Offlinenumonk


Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 374
Loc: Back! From the digestive ...
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: girl helpp [Re: THEBats]
    #210416 - 03/30/09 04:25 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

THEBats said:
Quote:

Harlz said:
Quote:

THEBats said:
how long you guys been together?  your infatuation has prolly run it's course and she's getting bored with you.  you'll prolly break up soon or start arguing a lot.




fuck thanks man we already argue alot so props to you dr phil

i dont know ill let you suckas know what happens no worries but i have a good feeling i dont know why i dont care what you guys say but if im wrong then fuck love for a long time ..............




Once you reach the point of arguing ect and your infatuation wears off people often end their facade and see each other for who they really are. I'm sry but so many people confuse love with infatuation and ruin their lives because of it.  Relationships should be easy.  If you truly found someone you love, not infatuation, you should reach a point to where fighting should be rare if not non-existent.  I wouldn't feel bad.  Long term relationships are rare. It's simply not in our genes best interests to have life long partners. 




Bullshit.

Long-term relationships are VERY common.

Good long-term relationships, (more good than bad), THAT may be a different story.

And technically, our genes are related to species of both monogamy and polygamy/polygyny, (although due to our socialization this is one situation where our genes might be less of an issue.)

Most long-term relationships that SHOULD be broken off are kept due to blind faith, or fear of disturbing the offspring. Otherwise, this is not a place for statistics, they only tell you what the numbers tell you. Something useless in such a system as dynamic human relations.

Quote:

niteowl Said:
Be advised, if you lost your virginity to her, this is going to be harder than it would have been if you hadn't had sex yet.

I know it sounds cliche but....time heals all wounds.
Give this 6 months and you will be looking for another girlfriend.




The man knows what he is saying. Keep an open mind, your emotions WILL overtake you unless you allow yourself a proper perspective, and as a victim of 17-19 year-old delusional infatuation, believe me, if it's not real, you will know after a certain period of time.

That period of time, WILL be longer if you attempt to hold on to what will not hold onto you.

Again, give yourself, and her, time to think. Especially at your age, you may be mature for your age, many of this age are now, but she may not. And it's very hard to tell, because a mature 18-year old turns into an immature 19-year old VERY quick and VERY often.

Allow some personal introspection, and again, best of luck to you.


~Monk


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OfflineHarlz


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 4,449
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Re: girl helpp [Re: zippo420]
    #210419 - 03/30/09 04:39 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

first of all Im not a bitch trust me , and she isnt fully gone she may come back and I will have hope right till the end but i am preparing myself and ive dealt with break ups before and i know how hard they are, also i know im not allowed to join at 17 but every one shhhh


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OfflineHarlz


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 4,449
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Re: girl helpp [Re: Harlz]
    #210421 - 03/30/09 04:40 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

and she wasnt my first girl i know how that affects ir greatly too :O i was surprised cuz sadly it was a fuck and chuck and i regret it and felt really bad afterwards


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OfflineYrat
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Re: girl helpp [Re: niteowl]
    #210422 - 03/30/09 04:42 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

sorry to say that things do not look good for you buddy.  hopefully it won't happen, but you should begin preparing yourself for a bad breakup.

i was in the same position as you at 18.  got my heart ripped out.  the biggest regret i have, which i can hopefully pass on to you as advice, is to let her do her own thing.  don't grovel, don't beg for her back, all this will only reinforce her desire to get away from you.

the best thing you can do is totally ignore her.  she will wonder how you got over her so fast, is there another girl he is seeing? etc etc.  the key is to make her constantly wonder about what you are doing, try not to keep her updated on what's happening in your life.  it's going to suck BAD, you will want to call her everyday, but you must resist.  you will probably cry your eyes out for a long time, but like niteowl said, "Time heals all wounds."

you will feel like shit until about half the total time you guys were together has passed (for example, together 2 years and totally infatuated?  it will probably take you a year to get over her). 

use this time to get back into the dating scene and get your game back, trust me it will take work after having your self-confidence slaughtered.  hit up the night-life and find some grudge-fucks.  they will help you immensely. 

good luck :thumbup:


--------------------
"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded." - Abraham Lincoln


"There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root"
~ Henry D. Thoreau
Strike The Root
                                                                                      :gethigh:


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Offlinenumonk


Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 374
Loc: Back! From the digestive ...
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: girl helpp [Re: Harlz]
    #210424 - 03/30/09 04:46 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Self-incrimination.

Learn to watch that, especially if the man knocks on the door.

Otherwise, you wouldn't know if you were a bitch, because that is a relative and subjective quality. If you are worried about some comments on a message board, where you are admitting yourself you should not be, than you are missing a few key points that have been presented over the course of this thread.

Re-read this, some replies are quite astute, some are fucking with you, if you cannot differentiate the two then you likely need advise from elsewhere, or more patience and ability for introspection.

I don't mean to be rude, but I'm only speaking what feels may be helpful. You may be VERY mature for your age, I'm honestly not THAT far from you, (considering that there are people living to near 120, and cosmologically speaking we are all equal, although our constant perspectives are not), but stay on the dime here, unless this is not a relationship you truly care to reestablish at the end of the day.

If so, you need to think critically, and get as much input from mutual acquaintances, they know the both of you and can likely give you much better advice than random people on this forum.

Take care,



~Monk


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Offlinenumonk


Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 374
Loc: Back! From the digestive ...
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: girl helpp [Re: Yrat]
    #210425 - 03/30/09 04:50 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Yrat said:
sorry to say that things do not look good for you buddy.  hopefully it won't happen, but you should begin preparing yourself for a bad breakup.

i was in the same position as you at 18.  got my heart ripped out.  the biggest regret i have, which i can hopefully pass on to you as advice, is to let her do her own thing.  don't grovel, don't beg for her back, all this will only reinforce her desire to get away from you.

the best thing you can do is totally ignore her.  she will wonder how you got over her so fast, is there another girl he is seeing? etc etc.  the key is to make her constantly wonder about what you are doing, try not to keep her updated on what's happening in your life.  it's going to suck BAD, you will want to call her everyday, but you must resist.  you will probably cry your eyes out for a long time, but like niteowl said, "Time heals all wounds."

you will feel like shit until about half the total time you guys were together has passed (for example, together 2 years and totally infatuated?  it will probably take you a year to get over her). 

use this time to get back into the dating scene and get your game back, trust me it will take work after having your self-confidence slaughtered.  hit up the night-life and find some grudge-fucks.  they will help you immensely. 

good luck :thumbup:





Agreed with all, except the advice to ignore. Depending on the personalities of both of you, that MAY work, but if that is the case you are probably both fucked anyway, because you refuse to communicate.

Maintain connection, but not intimately r friendly. (which leaves Yrat's advice or casual, and casual may not be possible).

You say you are mature. Are you mature enough to react calmly to a rare call in which she tells you she is now fucking someone else and engaged to that person?

If not, thank Yrat has you covered, if so...do what feels right.

Just. Keep. Perspective.

If we live forever, or not. You are young, younger than many, young enough to be 'technically' not on the top forums of this site.

Think carefully.



~Monk


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Invisiblebananatelephone
MarijuAnna♫

Registered: 05/18/08
Posts: 5,111
Re: girl helpp [Re: numonk]
    #210428 - 03/30/09 05:01 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I love it when you all band together and give out some good relationship advice.

I would offer a woman's perspective, but you guys are doing so well. :tongue:


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OfflineHarlz


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 4,449
Loc: cloudz
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: girl helpp [Re: numonk]
    #210429 - 03/30/09 05:01 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I understand and can identify who is genuienely offering help and i appreeciate it, and my general outlook on it is getting better whether we get back together or not i feel if we do great we love each other, and if not oh well i dont have to go on loving someone who doesnt love me back.. or was too immature to know what love means, or maybe I am too


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InvisibleFarBeyondDriven
Truthfully, I'm a bullshitter
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Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 13,834
Loc: Greenbow, Alabama
Re: girl helpp [Re: Harlz]
    #210442 - 03/30/09 05:38 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

ignore her and if she comes back, she comes back...all you can do man...


--------------------



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OfflineHarlz


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 4,449
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Re: girl helpp [Re: THEBats]
    #210515 - 03/30/09 08:19 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

my girlfriend told me she wants to hang out wednesday or thursday i hope we can patch things up !


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InvisibleFarBeyondDriven
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Registered: 04/22/08
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Re: girl helpp [Re: Harlz]
    #210544 - 03/30/09 10:13 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

just act like you're whatever about it...dont let her know you're all excited n shit


--------------------



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OfflineHarlz


Registered: 02/05/09
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Re: girl helpp [Re: FarBeyondDriven]
    #210546 - 03/30/09 10:16 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

i know i am bro lol play it coool


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OfflinePolkaudio3


Registered: 03/17/09
Posts: 118
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: girl helpp [Re: THEBats]
    #210567 - 03/30/09 11:44 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Shit I don't know man. Most of the time when me an girls get tired or each other and I hear lets take a brake or I want to be single for a while. Or the most famous one Well I don't want to date anymore I am in college and there are so much more than you're pot headed ass HAHA!!!


--------------------
Say boy You dont wanna get hit with the AR AR 15 15 Flip cars
So just imagine what it do to pussy niggaz thats goin against me I come hard So hard that I'm bruising up my knuckles I'm watchin my fist bleed fists bleed So whatI'm bustin this bustin this fuckin up everyone that it sees So move to the left cuz you might catch a hot one
Tear a whole square out ya chest with the shotgun
Make a whole pair out one nigga with the shotgun
We can go there my nigga I'm so there
Rockin by myself with the chopper on the backseat
Shoot at the driver side knock his body to the backseat
Stop Pause Nigga I'm Dominique Dawes
Flippin bitch niggaz when the shotty's go off


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InvisibleFarBeyondDriven
Truthfully, I'm a bullshitter
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Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 13,834
Loc: Greenbow, Alabama
Re: girl helpp [Re: Polkaudio3]
    #210573 - 03/31/09 12:03 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

.....do you eat other humans by any chance?


--------------------



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OfflineYrat
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Re: girl helpp [Re: numonk]
    #210614 - 03/31/09 09:56 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Harlz said:
my girlfriend told me she wants to hang out wednesday or thursday i hope we can patch things up !




don't get your hopes up just yet.  when i was in your situation the same thing happened to me, on a break with the gf, she wanted to hang out after a couple weeks, and then she dropped the bomb that we were done for good.  i was optimistic and excited to see her again at the time, which just made that moment all the more awful.  i hope to you fare differently.


Quote:

numonk said:

Maintain connection, but not intimately r friendly. (which leaves Yrat's advice or casual, and casual may not be possible).







i agree completely.  in my case, casual contact was not possible, i was still too completely head-over-heels for her.  my world seemed centered on her, and everything was ripped out from under me.  in retrospect, i wish i could have ignored her instead of making an ass out of myself.

if you are completely infatuated with her, and she does pull the rug out from under you, try to gauge whether you can maintain casual contact with her.  i thought i could, but that's probably only because i fooled myself into thinking so, since in the back of my mind i knew all i really wanted to do was talk to her as much as possible to get her back.  don't try and fool yourself.

good luck buddy.


--------------------
"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded." - Abraham Lincoln


"There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root"
~ Henry D. Thoreau
Strike The Root
                                                                                      :gethigh:


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OfflineTHEBats
The Bridge Master
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
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Re: girl helpp [Re: numonk]
    #210615 - 03/31/09 09:56 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

numonk said:
Quote:

THEBats said:
Quote:

Harlz said:
Quote:

THEBats said:
how long you guys been together?  your infatuation has prolly run it's course and she's getting bored with you.  you'll prolly break up soon or start arguing a lot.




fuck thanks man we already argue alot so props to you dr phil

i dont know ill let you suckas know what happens no worries but i have a good feeling i dont know why i dont care what you guys say but if im wrong then fuck love for a long time ..............




Once you reach the point of arguing ect and your infatuation wears off people often end their facade and see each other for who they really are. I'm sry but so many people confuse love with infatuation and ruin their lives because of it.  Relationships should be easy.  If you truly found someone you love, not infatuation, you should reach a point to where fighting should be rare if not non-existent.  I wouldn't feel bad.  Long term relationships are rare. It's simply not in our genes best interests to have life long partners. 




Bullshit.

Long-term relationships are VERY common.

Good long-term relationships, (more good than bad), THAT may be a different story.

And technically, our genes are related to species of both monogamy and polygamy/polygyny, (although due to our socialization this is one situation where our genes might be less of an issue.)

Most long-term relationships that SHOULD be broken off are kept due to blind faith, or fear of disturbing the offspring. Otherwise, this is not a place for statistics, they only tell you what the numbers tell you. Something useless in such a system as dynamic human relations.



~Monk




I should clear that up to say I meant successful long-term relationships.  Also just because we may be related to a species that expresses traits of monogamy doesn't mean we ourselves as a species express this trait.  Plenty of research exists that suggest we are not creatures meant for long term relationships.  This is a demand of society.

And while statistics aren't everything they do give you insight into the workings of the successful long-term relationship.  I wish I could remember exactly or find the place I read it, prolly have it somewhere, but there are some universal factors that long term relationships, or should I say successful long-term relationships must have.  These are skills we must learn through trial and error, further to reason to suggest that young Harlz hasn't yet learned.


--------------------
kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day.  :twobooks:


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Invisiblebananatelephone
MarijuAnna♫

Registered: 05/18/08
Posts: 5,111
Re: girl helpp [Re: THEBats]
    #210620 - 03/31/09 10:14 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

We are creatures of habit, the only reason we stay together is because change scares us, and we are so deeply rooted into our routine. On the other hand its the same for polyamorous couples and singles, if that is what we have made for ourselves breaking the habit is difficult.

(There are of course people who adapt better, and those who can "change", but ultimately old habits die hard.)


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OfflineTHEBats
The Bridge Master
Male


Registered: 04/20/08
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Re: girl helpp [Re: bananatelephone]
    #210664 - 03/31/09 02:58 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

bananatelephone said:
We are creatures of habit, the only reason we stay together is because change scares us, and we are so deeply rooted into our routine. On the other hand its the same for polyamorous couples and singles, if that is what we have made for ourselves breaking the habit is difficult.

(There are of course people who adapt better, and those who can "change", but ultimately old habits die hard.)





This too is true. Once we have a certain image about a person or anything really we distort all information coming in that doesn't fit into our idea of that person or thing.  One of the reasons why first impressions are so powerful is because within the first 10-20 seconds of meeting someone we already have an opinion about that individual, if it happens to be bad then it becomes quite difficult to change that opinion around.


--------------------
kickin-two-hundo said:
you know what i did in english class? I came to class stoned out of my mind every day, i chugged vodka in the back of class, i put dead fish in the ceiling tiles. i put a gallon of old milk and orange juice in the file cabinet before winter vacation. i brought snakes in a tied up sweater and let them loose during class. i didnt go to school to learn, i went because i had to. i didnt care, and i didn't fucking listen to that stupid bitch. and i still don't fucking care. i tore the pages out of her books and burned them, and threw away all the books in the class, two books per day.  :twobooks:


Edited by THEBats (03/31/09 02:58 PM)


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Offlineb0b gnarley
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Registered: 04/21/08
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Re: girl helpp [Re: THEBats]
    #210736 - 03/31/09 08:58 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

stop over analyzing this gay situation


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OfflineHarlz


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 4,449
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Re: girl helpp [Re: THEBats]
    #211154 - 04/01/09 04:03 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

yeaa we broke up whatever i dont fucking care life goes on... im just tryin to move on thanks for all the help everybody we did it over msn and yee thats pretty much it


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