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45 goin
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/28/11
Posts: 86
Loc: Washington State
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
the beginning of my book
    #592472 - 10/16/11 08:43 PM (6 years, 6 months ago)

The Meaning of Life from the perspevtive of Shotgun

this worldis mine. sinceitis mine, and my creation, immagination, my dreams, my hopeless longingness for lonliness to end, all mene, i will do as i feeel is the truest thing to do. i do know what is right. i can feel it. caus i designed it. all me and mine. so, why do i worry? i guess better than feeling nothing but nothing. why have i created all this hate? to learn that i can destroy anything i can create? im not sure. this giant illusion is pretty weird, to say the least. and now that i think i know, i dont know if i should. i expect life to be beautiful soon. now that i know,i should be able to mold my future into a shape so beautiful that nothing can compare. not ever. is there anyone elseout there? even a thing? i dont know, but if u want to know, u just need to connect yourself with your true self. this life is so much easier than anyone believes, just do what is easiest. your true self knows that the easiest thing to do is what is truly right. in your "heart." life is that easy.its also a test. can u break free? of the lies, the drama, the impending death? can you? its all to see if you are strong enough to be u, to follow the heart. if you arent, then you're already dead. so for the dead i fail. i have failed the zombies. which means i failed myself. unless, unless it it me ridding myself of undesired traits. evil? without evil and hate, would kindness and love be void? unappreciated? forgoten even? what does it take to maintain ballance? as ive learned, ballance prevents chaos. but how to keep ballance? i know! ive always know. follow the heart. its like a river. and a mountain. the heart is a raft that flows with the current downstream. the mountain is the accidental path the ego tends to travel. you're gonna end up where you're going either way. so why make it a hardship? why take forever. if u believe yourself, your true self, you'll find what u really want. you will find your way, withut struggle. if u can believe ur true honest feelings, you dont need to follow or listen to others. this is your world. create your vision of perfect beauty. its right in front of you. just see it. ha, hard i know. worry really blocks our view of perfection. but it is there. what you see around you, is you, so be the best you can, true to the heart, and all around you will reflect that beauty that is you. the beauty that has always been there. now, why is it so hard to see and do this? its because as of right now, we are addicted to something blinding. feeling a certain way. im addicted to the way i feel. why, because i "worry" that it wont last. i feel if i dont have it, then it will go away. kill worry, and ballance will restore itself, if u let it. can u guess how? believe in the true beauty that is you. trust that little feeling. question why thins are as ther are. but search yourself for the answer. because u already know. you always have. but something is hiding the truth. why, why? because if you cant rediscover it on your own, then it means nothing. hmmm...how can i find myself if everything is so hectic around me? oh ya, quit the worry, let it go, let it be. it is what it is, because you've made it that way. if you think you are going through hell, obviously you're doing something wrong. wrong meaning against your tru selfs belief. dont let yourself be lied to. dont lie to yourself. change starts and even ends with u. why wait, end the hate. its up to you. it always has been. its all you. you being me, because we are all one, in many ways. and in no ways. haha, do you even remember the dark lonly nothingness that we came from? that we will return to if we fail? do you remember how alone you were, with noone and nothing? do you remember longing so much for anything that somehow u made a sound? a sound that created everything, that is everything. most likely not. its like amnesia after a horrible terrifying painful event. most people dont remember. but once u remember, u at the least understand why you are you and the way u are. after that, you can deal with it easier. the weight of hiding and not knowing goes away. the anchor is gone. once u againsee the truth, from this perspective, you can see beauty in all things. and fix what has been led astray. who better than you? ?  ? noone, duh. quit being a zombie. you have the cure. you are the cure. only u can save us. of course u wont be perfect. (even though you are) so you can feel progress and learning and such. but you can do what is right. you know what is right. so do your best to do what matters. to you. the real you. not some fear led zombie. be real. be real...be, real. be who your heart desires. the only thing stopping you is you. know that, accept that, and you will succeed by changing it.    well damn, ive created one hell of a mess. it took me this long to realize that i really can do what i desire, no matter objects ive placed in front of me. objects that, in the endish, makes me feel even better for being able to get through them. look back, do u see a mess that you made it through? how good do u feel for making it through? now that was tru dedication and success, wasnt it? would u feel that if it didnt happen? every river has rocks. just improvise, fix the leaks, go with the flow. just go with it. work with it. if you get stuckon a rock, you wanted to. even if u dont know it, you want it. why? well, you will learn why sooner if not later. just take what comes your way and see if u have what it takes to move on. you totally do. you are awesome and smart. dont let your jellous counterpartsconvince you otherwise. why do they do that? honestly, they feel about u as u do about yourself. loveyourself and soon everyone else will share the feeling with u. but u really have to truly love yourself, or you will get nowhere. ever. if u dont love yourself, its like trying to drive a car that you've never heard of when you dont know how to drive, or the directins to where you are going. it still runs, but then it crashes, and you need to get a new car or u get lost or both and then u have to start over. how many cars do you want to ruin? how much longer can u be lost? isnt it annoying, old, pathetic? come on now. wake up. isnt it time? cant you just be the perfect loving person that you are? why are you stopping yourself? you dont need to. you really dont. dont fear the truth. that leads to hidind from it. that does nothing and it will only lead you to failure. again. lets do it right this time. lets be the best we can be. you are a good person. so start showing it. at least to yourself, for now. it starts with you. so why not start? make this orld a better place. you are the ctalyst of an amazing reality. completely amazing. just like you. its time to make a difference. a big difference. start by finding your true self. once u do that, the rest follows, as long as u follow your self. its easy, we just make it hard. dumb, i know, but really you dont know until u know. it takes a lot of facing truths and fears to discover our true selves. find inside yourself what causes your fear, hate, anger, etc, and face it. face it knowing tht u will make it through. without failure there is no success. but without an attempt, there is nothing. nothing in many sences. nothing as in nothing better happens ever, or nothing as in the abyss we are from, nothing as in the lack of what we really want/need. there is that saying, ""if i fail at least i tried." i hate that. because if you tried then you didnt fail. not entirely. because if u try, u know u have the ability to try. which means u can try again. failure only exists when you give up entirely. failure means no hope. when you are trying, that means hope exists still. just give everything your full hearted attempt, and you will succeed. if you arent succeeding, its time to get back in touch with yourself. feeel the real you. really take time to sit or lay there, and think and feel the real beauty of you. embrace it. know it. love it. be it. then you're world will change forever. in a more beautiful way than ever immagined.           

once you realize that true beauty starts with  you, everything will start to seam like magic. like a fairy tale came true. when that happens, just go with it. its a perfect time for a perfect change in a place we've deamed imperfect. even though it was always perfect, you just didnt know it. its time to live in the reality of truth. the truth that is you. so find it! its so easy its hard. hard because it seams too easy. like looking for the tv remote for hours. you look and look. then finnally realize that it was in your hand the whole time. wow, something so obvious that you didnt even look there. dont feel stupid though. its ok. like a man that cant see. everything is right there but he cant see it. walks around aimlessly bumping into shit and knocking things over. but the somehow he remembers there is a light. all he needs to do is find the light(that he invented and installed). but he knows where it is. becuse he made the house. but what made him forget(decide) not to turn on the light? being in too much of a hurry or worry? carelesness? lazines? what was it? figure it out, face it, and move on. figure out what really matters. what last the longest and strongest? definantly not money or object. or even other ppl. but the love u have for them(because of how you got it or how u found them. the journey matters), the memory of how u made them feel, those last forever. dont ever regret. as said, without failure, success is invisible. without failure how can u appreciate success and progress. an easy way to not fail is to be acceptable to change. change with you is only you learning something or forgetting something. dont get caught up in style, trends, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. they all change. because withought chage there is no progress. everything changes. see it, learn it, accept it, and adapt. or you will get stuck on a path that isnt yours that u dont understand and cant navigate. its like riding a bike with no handlebars down a steep slippery spiral staircase instead of taking the elevator. the elevator takes you right where you need to go. just like the river. taking the easy way out isnt always bad. usually its actually pretty smart. just listen to the real you. your self will guide you through life like the most graceful dance ever immangined. honestly, your true self creates the world/reality you live in based on exactly how you feel, as ive said, and will say again. and you should feel awesome. but most of us dont. because we're looking for the wrong thing in the wrong places. what we really need to find has always been right there. in you. feel it? what is it? happiness. only you can embrace it to create it in your manifested world around you. what you see around you is created(by you) to show you whats happening inside yourself. what do you want to see around you now? if you really think you know, then start visualizing and working towards it. if you dont know what you want to see, go with the flow and you'll land right in the middle of what you'll then know you've always wanted. you will get what you want. start now, right now, getting what you want. a big huge tip on getting what u want is treating others(you) the way you(others) want to be treated. you've heard it since you were a kid. but really think about it like you are interacting with yourself. everyone is you so why hurt or steal or lie to yourself? it really hurts. always. one way or another. just follow the heart. you'll know what to do and how to act and react and where to go when the time comes. let that time come. right now we're here. i dont need to think about what the fuck im gonna do with my life. im here. right now. so im gonna enjoy it. im gonna live this moment to the fullest. fullfilling every possible desire that my heart(true self) has. ill do all i can, right now. ill give it my all. i want and need this moment to be beautiful in every way. because the only thing i have is this, right now. this is here right now, and im gonna enjoy it. make everything pleasant. why the hell not. really? its like money. you cant enjoy what you have if you always are thinking about the bills and where you'll get your next job or how this or that could happen. quit being a slave to money and appreciate even being here. that alone is worth enjoying right now, this moment. because you are right here, right now. not there. but when you do get there, everything will be fine. its that easy. believe it. quit fucking around and do it. be it live it love it, beauty! im here! im now! how could a spark of a miricle land me here with this conciousness in this reality that i see around me. how nieve of me to percieve anything as ugly or bad. or to even have ever doubted myself. but i chose it to be this way so i was able to see and feel and learn and love and to appreciate them i have to have the ballance of it all. or ill be climbing that mountain or riding the fucked up bike again.
so now, here we are. right now. how are we feeling? a little out of it maybe? or smack dab in the middle? its wherever, its whatever, im loving every moment of it. like never before. so many things before. so many times i hurt people(myself) and so many times have i ignored my heart. i have chosen to forgive myself. now that ive done that, well im forgiven. thats what it takes to be forgiven. it may appear to you that it takes a while to be forgiven after you forgive yourself. but thats just relitive to you. dont worry about it. it really will happen.
wow. i cant believe how long i have searched for happiness. the whole time it was i that withheld it from myself unknowingly. well actually i can believe it, but u know what i mean. it is you that sparks the fire that will be your ever consuming  happiness. if you so chose. unless you're doing the opposite. which means you havent found and followed your true self. ive done that. many times. why, becaused i became consumed with my feelings and emotions. I failed to follow my true path because i was trying to be somebody/something im not. i felt i wasnt good enough for nyone. not up to par. yet the whole time it was me that i was failing to be good enough for. weird to think i thought people would accept me if i acted a certain way or did certain things. the truth is, if i would have accepted me for who i am and lived and showed that, then they would also have accepte me for me. life is amazing when you love yourelf. there is nothing better than knowing you can do all your hearts desires if you put your heart to it. it may als be good to put your brain into it too. but if a delima ever occur between the heart and brain, take the path of the heart. the heart is true. your brain sometimes makes the wrong choice. its a good thing, but heart stays true, through and through.

One thing i learned is that i need to quit trying to escape. getting high just to leave this reality. to escape the problems i think i have. to escape the drama or people or jail or whatever it is. its all better. better than the nothingness before you. this is an excape, such a very perfect escape. the pain of the abyss. alone. nothing. hardly a conciousness. just u. that was sad. that was pain. all of this reality, no matter what, is better. why escape the most perfectly designed escape. thats prolly what it would be like if you were in a perfect hevan and tried to escape from there to go to hell. we are in a beautiful place. you should be so happy you are able to be here, right now, this moment, to read my thoughts that hopefully help guide somebody somewhere the right way.
right now, im thinking this is like a wonderland. seriously, we made all of this out of what? at the beginning there was nothing but nothing, yet here we are. from nothing. to beauty. you did that. when you started this. good job. if you can understand that you are the one that created your reality, which you reall are, then you should know the beauty exists in you t odo all things your heart desires. do what you do. do it with love and honesty. never forget your Self. and this moment. right here, right now. all the time.
haha i snicker at "time" right now. the whole idea of it. time time time. hmmm, you know its just based on your perception of an object moving through space.it really is different for everyone. its the fourth demention, time. time doesnt exist at the speed of light. like on star trek when the go light speed, everyone freezes. if you are going through space that fast, you cant also travel through time. in fact, if you were to supercede the speed of lite by any speed, you would go back in time. i dont know how that would work though because you would also have to go back in space to experience it. I have no idea how it could be done with a human, but i hope to at least figure that one out. how could a person or object or any matter travel backwards through spacetime, and if not that, what would happen to someone going back in time but not space. hmmm. weird thoughts i know. but at least it is kool to think about. maybe i really might be the one to discover that. i have a feeling if my heart wants it bad enough, i could do it. we'll see. you should see what your hearts true desires are and make it happen! whats stopping you. your interna affairs? lets ditch those. it isnt worth it. not al all.
you know, i used to think, even hope the world would end in 2012. now i fully believe that my world will go on. because my heart, my self, wants it do. the world is going to change into a woderfuler reality and peace will be very present once again. people are getting better. i see it. i see me getting better. im doing it. i deserve to go on in this illusion ?i have created. how do you ike the one you live in? thanks for having me as an illusion. wonder why i am typing this out. obviously there is or wil be something in this that you wanted to read. or you would have never read it.
you could say that things happen for a reason. seamingly random coincidinces actually arent so random. the event or person or place was brought to you because you had something to learn. it would be wise to accept what comes your way. accept it and learn from it. thats part of change. as hard as things may seam or as awesome they seam, there is something to learn. there is also something u have to give. you have knowledge that other ppl need. share it. give all you can give and accept all given, if all true to the heart.

here's a kool thought, gravity. have you ever thought about it? gravity is awesome. when there is  large enough, dense enough matter, it warps the fabric of our universe, spacetime. things fall because they are taking their easiest route through spacetime. picture a bowling ball in the middle of the trampoline. it warps the tarp. roll a ball across the side and it sinks in to the middle where the bowling ball is. it may even orbit the bowling ball if other laws of physics didn't apply, just like in space. its a crude example but it sort of helps. im sure one day ill have written books about gravity and spacetime. after school. maybe during. maybe before. but i will educate others, as others have done to me.
anyways, since we are here, lets enjoy what we have. it really could be and has been much worse.lets make ourselves do something to help the population. which is you and all you've created. so helping them really helps you. no one is perfect until we all work together. do it. do what you're really here for. life's purpose is to prove to yourself that you can succeed and grow and learn and love. prove to yourself that your beauty does exist. its real. its there. find it. share it. let it flow through you. let your spirt fly. you are a free spirit. please dont let yourself get held up or stuck in the binds of current society. you are so much better than that. break free. prove you can do what your heart truly feels is right, even f the masses, aka zombies, say its wrong. but you must really listen to the heart. or freedom is hard to grasp.
what is freedom? is it free will? is it not being trapped? there are many interpretations of freedom. america's version is somewhat false. but the intentions are somewhat true. Over all, we're all pretty safe here, compared to mexico or something. but are we free or part of a flock being herded to do the bidding of others? they make us fear them. fear so we do the things they feel and chose are right. break free. be one of the beans that fell out of the burrito. you arent alone. there are beans like us out there, hiding. waiting. but im not waiting anymore. its time for a movement of change. it is beginning. it has begun. a peaceful war(on our part at least).

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 Arcade Champion: Balloon Bomber

Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 5,101
Re: the beginning of my book [Re: Shotgun]
    #592493 - 10/17/11 12:14 AM (6 years, 6 months ago)


volcomstoner said:
I tried using a q tip to scratch the inside of my urethra it was that bad

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Grease Wizard

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 9,494
Last seen: 6 months, 15 days
Re: the beginning of my book [Re: Shotgun]
    #592521 - 10/17/11 09:03 AM (6 years, 6 months ago)

How you say, too windy?

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45 goin
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/28/11
Posts: 86
Loc: Washington State
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: the beginning of my book [Re: Tangerines]
    #592683 - 10/18/11 03:33 PM (6 years, 6 months ago)

its my life.my story. my song. i love the wind

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Registered: 08/15/10
Posts: 940
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: the beginning of my book [Re: Shotgun]
    #592693 - 10/18/11 04:56 PM (6 years, 6 months ago)

Too many words xD

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