Home | Community | Message Board


Everything Mushrooms
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> The Smoke Lounge

Welcome to the Growery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
InvisibleShr0000ooooms
Cannabis Sampler


Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 3,870
Loc: Hindu Kush Mountains
Greatest Thing I've Read.
    #498583 - 11/16/10 03:15 PM (6 years, 24 days ago)

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

tldr; You're missing out.


--------------------
If I'm posting I'm high.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinejkell
Midnight toker
 Arcade Champion: QB Challenge


Registered: 10/29/10
Posts: 510
Loc: Don' worry bout it
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: Greatest Thing I've Read. [Re: Shr0000ooooms]
    #498598 - 11/16/10 04:30 PM (6 years, 24 days ago)

Haha I've read this before too, it truly is the greatest thing I've ever read and that guy is a God among men.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleShr0000ooooms
Cannabis Sampler


Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 3,870
Loc: Hindu Kush Mountains
Re: Greatest Thing I've Read. [Re: jkell]
    #498602 - 11/16/10 04:43 PM (6 years, 24 days ago)

The story made me wanna fuck someone though.

Can't wait till friday :datass:


--------------------
If I'm posting I'm high.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineShaggy420
Male


Registered: 07/06/10
Posts: 3,372
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Greatest Thing I've Read. [Re: Shr0000ooooms]
    #498621 - 11/16/10 05:16 PM (6 years, 24 days ago)

hahaha that was awesome :ilold:


--------------------

:Awemush::happyweed::fasted::happyweed::Awemush:


http://www.clear-uk.org/


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineChillWillis
old school fool


Registered: 06/14/09
Posts: 2,212
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Greatest Thing I've Read. [Re: Shaggy420]
    #498632 - 11/16/10 05:53 PM (6 years, 23 days ago)

:lmao:

good stuff, I love it when you trick women into the exact bullshit they try to pull on you so they can see how ridiculous their entire sex is.


--------------------

It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

Community >> The Smoke Lounge

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* My girl made me this sweet ass bracelet.
( 1 2 all )
Triptonic 2,990 24 12/18/09 12:48 AM
by 81renaissance
* greatest day of the year
( 1 2 all )
MFDoom666 2,365 26 01/07/10 01:07 AM
by MFDoom666
* we've come a long way since slavery usg543 1,418 12 11/05/08 05:31 AM
by MistaUNGA
* the greatest question yet unanswered yellownotepad 712 3 07/22/09 10:56 AM
by Dr. Siekadellyk
* I've noticed that a lot of really stupid people come from california.
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 all )
Hanky 14,769 105 08/07/08 01:59 AM
by impgl
* Wildest place you've gotten stoned
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
FurrowedBrowM 10,002 99 01/14/11 09:22 PM
by openmind
* best ganja you've ever smoked??? revmn 2,365 19 07/09/10 04:38 PM
by Steve Buscemi
* So i've decided to smoke some red hair.... tonytone 1,369 13 02/25/10 06:09 PM
by RasJeph

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: FurrowedBrow, Harry_Ba11sach, Stoneth, Dr. Siekadellyk
540 topic views. 2 members, 50 guests and 55 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Everything Mushrooms
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2016 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.035 seconds spending 0.003 seconds on 14 queries.