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Invisibleniteowl
GrandPaw
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/20/08
Posts: 4,393
Lets face it ... English is a stupid language
    #486555 - 10/09/10 11:16 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all.)

That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.


--------------------
The Ego is a pathological condition
like a calcareous tumor or cyst
that begins growing in the personality
in the absence of hallucinogenic substances
-Terence McKenna-


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InvisibleT-Rex
Herbsman
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/15/10
Posts: 4,920
Loc: Devils Marbles Flag
Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: niteowl]
    #486557 - 10/09/10 11:28 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

I read this on the place mat of a bar a few years ago, made me think
:chong:


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InvisibleDr. SiekadellykM
Question Everything!
Male User Gallery Arcade Champion: Plumber, Radial Snake


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 9,302
Loc: Ketamine Flag
Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: T-Rex]
    #486569 - 10/09/10 11:51 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

:learyharvard:


--------------------
The Kratom Report...


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Offlinehippielauren
Quiet Mouse
Female


Registered: 09/04/10
Posts: 274
Loc: down south Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: Dr. Siekadellyk]
    #486580 - 10/10/10 12:29 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

:strokebeard2:

never thought of it like that. Gives me something to ponder about tonight


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OfflineCosmicFool
Psychoholic
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 1,630
Loc: 203 Flag
Last seen: 16 days, 11 hours
Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: hippielauren]
    #486636 - 10/10/10 07:53 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

french fries are named after the style of cut they are prepared with

quick sand is far quicker than normal sand


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OfflineRasJeph
Psycho Pete
Male


Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 11,628
Loc: Bumfuckt Egypt
Last seen: 1 month, 20 days
Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: CosmicFool]
    #486645 - 10/10/10 10:03 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Still superior to Spanish IMO.

Fucking verb conjugations. I hated having to apply gender/group size to every sentence I wanted to say. Especially because they aren't always the same ending, it depends on the verb.


--------------------
Of course it's happening inside your head.
Why should that mean it isn't real?


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OfflineFRACTALife
Rust Fuckin' Cohle
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/20/10
Posts: 6,835
Loc: Carcosa Flag
Last seen: 1 hour, 22 minutes
Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: niteowl]
    #486654 - 10/10/10 10:23 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

niteowl said:
There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all.)

That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.




:freshwtf:


--------------------


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Invisibledrawde
 Arcade Champion: Balloon Bomber

Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 4,780
Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: FRACTALife]
    #486660 - 10/10/10 11:11 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Ha, brilliant. :thumbup:


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InvisibleiStoner
Astral Beast
Male


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 7,176
Re: Lets face it ... English is a stupid language [Re: RasJeph]
    #486720 - 10/10/10 06:42 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

RasJeph said:
Still superior to Spanish IMO.

Fucking verb conjugations. I hated having to apply gender/group size to every sentence I wanted to say. Especially because they aren't always the same ending, it depends on the verb.



fucking latin dude, thats a fucked up language. i hated learning that in school.


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