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Ballin out at all cost
Male User Gallery Arcade Champion: Pingu Slap

Registered: 09/22/08
Posts: 8,144
Loc: High Flag
Heaviest Element Recently Discovered.
    #190484 - 01/29/09 12:10 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)



I cannot take credit for this and do not know the author:

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.  Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.  A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.  Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.  It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.  In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.  This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.  This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.  When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Suck my balls America

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el cid
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Registered: 04/20/08
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Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
Re: Heaviest Element Recently Discovered. [Re: mhbound]
    #190486 - 01/29/09 12:20 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)


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Happy Planting
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Re: Heaviest Element Recently Discovered. [Re: 0xYg3n]
    #190493 - 01/29/09 01:09 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

i remember this.  it's very well-written

"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded." - Abraham Lincoln

"There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root"
~ Henry D. Thoreau
Strike The Root

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