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Offlineyoosername
Strange

Registered: 06/09/17
Posts: 662
Loc: Somewhere under the Sun
Last seen: 1 day, 7 hours
My ducks came back!
    #844656 - 04/25/20 06:01 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

So back in 2007 we bought some ducklings for my sisters graduation party.  They were quite a hit, and were fun to have around.  I remember picking them up and throwing them like a football and they'd poop, fly a short distance and land.  :rofl:  We also let them swim in our pool.  They'd dive to the bottom and swim around underwater, it was pretty amusing to watch.

We had 3 of them, two males and a female.  In the fall, two paired up and flew south, while the one male was left behind.  That poor duck was depressed for weeks, he just sat under our camper and let water drip on his head all day.  We thought we'd have to keep him in the coop for the winter, but eventually, after the first few snowfalls, he moved on.

Anyways, fast forward to today.  I'm sitting in my room, sipping on some hemp milk chai, and out my window I see a pair of mallards eating some food scraps we left out for the birds.  I couldn't believe it, but then I checked the maximum life expectancy of mallards; 20 years!  So these fuckers remembered their home and returned after 13 years of flying south every year!

They've been out there for over an hour, just picking at food scraps and waddling around the yard.  I'll probably end up feeding them for the rest of the summer if they stick around.

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OfflineRolleduhhp
Dog With Thumbs


Registered: 03/19/20
Posts: 71
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: yoosername]
    #844658 - 04/25/20 08:48 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Dude, that's awesome!

I've had a lot of birds, but never any that migrated.

Visiting ducks sound fun, they can turn a yard to a swamp if left unchecked.

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Invisiblepoor boy
Village Idiot
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Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: yoosername]
    #844659 - 04/26/20 06:36 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

yoosername said:
So back in 2007 we bought some ducklings for my sisters graduation party.  They were quite a hit, and were fun to have around.  I remember picking them up and throwing them like a football and they'd poop, fly a short distance and land.  :rofl:  We also let them swim in our pool.  They'd dive to the bottom and swim around underwater, it was pretty amusing to watch.

We had 3 of them, two males and a female.  In the fall, two paired up and flew south, while the one male was left behind.  That poor duck was depressed for weeks, he just sat under our camper and let water drip on his head all day.  We thought we'd have to keep him in the coop for the winter, but eventually, after the first few snowfalls, he moved on.

Anyways, fast forward to today.  I'm sitting in my room, sipping on some hemp milk chai, and out my window I see a pair of mallards eating some food scraps we left out for the birds.  I couldn't believe it, but then I checked the maximum life expectancy of mallards; 20 years!  So these fuckers remembered their home and returned after 13 years of flying south every year!

They've been out there for over an hour, just picking at food scraps and waddling around the yard.  I'll probably end up feeding them for the rest of the summer if they stick around.




The fuck...

You had no idea how that little scenario would play out the first time you threw a baby duckling like a football. That could have ended very badly.


--------------------
Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns
I'm a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better

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Offlineyoosername
Strange

Registered: 06/09/17
Posts: 662
Loc: Somewhere under the Sun
Last seen: 1 day, 7 hours
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: poor boy]
    #844660 - 04/26/20 09:13 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Relax, I only threw them once they were able to fly.  The only thing I didn't see coming was the poop that landed on my shirt.

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Invisiblepoor boy
Village Idiot
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Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: yoosername]
    #844661 - 04/26/20 12:37 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Monster!

You throwing kittens and puppies too!?


--------------------
Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns
I'm a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better

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Offlineyoosername
Strange

Registered: 06/09/17
Posts: 662
Loc: Somewhere under the Sun
Last seen: 1 day, 7 hours
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: poor boy]
    #844662 - 04/26/20 02:57 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Kittens and puppies are more balanced for throwing, like a cross between a bean bag and a water balloon.

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Invisiblepoor boy
Village Idiot
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Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: yoosername] * 1
    #844663 - 04/26/20 03:11 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

No one is joking here. You purpoy threw an animal just for your own amusement.


--------------------
Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns
I'm a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDataM
That Guy
Male


Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 3,975
Loc: Southwestern US Flag
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: poor boy]
    #844664 - 04/26/20 03:26 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

poor boy said:
No one is joking here.





Did you hear about the duck who went to the store for some chapstick?


--------------------
“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you” -NDT

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Invisiblepoor boy
Village Idiot
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Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: Data]
    #844666 - 04/26/20 05:43 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

No. What happened!?


--------------------
Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns
I'm a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepoor boy
Village Idiot
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Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: poor boy]
    #844667 - 04/26/20 05:46 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

A pouch potato


--------------------
Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns
I'm a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRolleduhhp
Dog With Thumbs


Registered: 03/19/20
Posts: 71
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: poor boy]
    #844668 - 04/26/20 06:20 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

A kangaroo's pouch is quite moist, and mucous-filled.

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InvisibleDataM
That Guy
Male


Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 3,975
Loc: Southwestern US Flag
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: poor boy]
    #844670 - 04/26/20 07:39 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

poor boy said:
No. What happened!?




Idk,  something about having trouble paying and telling the cashier to put it on his bill. :shrug:


--------------------
“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you” -NDT

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OfflineRolleduhhp
Dog With Thumbs


Registered: 03/19/20
Posts: 71
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: Data]
    #844671 - 04/26/20 10:46 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

:ducklol:

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Invisiblepoor boy
Village Idiot
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Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: Data]
    #844672 - 04/27/20 04:34 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Data said:
Quote:

poor boy said:
No. What happened!?




Idk,  something about having trouble paying and telling the cashier to put it on his bill. :shrug:




  :notamused:


--------------------
Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns
I'm a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDataM
That Guy
Male


Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 3,975
Loc: Southwestern US Flag
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: poor boy]
    #844674 - 04/27/20 08:20 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

poor boy said:
Quote:

Data said:
Quote:

poor boy said:
No. What happened!?




Idk,  something about having trouble paying and telling the cashier to put it on his bill. :shrug:




  :notamused:



That shit was gold and you know it.


--------------------
“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you” -NDT

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Invisiblepoor boy
Village Idiot
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Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: Data]
    #844677 - 04/27/20 12:55 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

It might have been if you would've remembered the entire joke.


--------------------
Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns
I'm a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better

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InvisibleAmanita86
Head Manager

Registered: 10/12/14
Posts: 2,005
Loc: Just south of down.
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: Rolleduhhp]
    #844679 - 04/27/20 01:42 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Rolleduhhp said:
A kangaroo's pouch is quite moist, and mucous-filled.



...:derfase:


--------------------
It's not easy being green..:bouncysmoke:

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OfflineRolleduhhp
Dog With Thumbs


Registered: 03/19/20
Posts: 71
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: Amanita86]
    #844683 - 04/27/20 08:01 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)


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InvisibleDataM
That Guy
Male


Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 3,975
Loc: Southwestern US Flag
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: poor boy]
    #844684 - 04/27/20 10:42 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

poor boy said:
It might have been if you would've remembered the entire joke.



You obviously lack the sophistication to properly appreciate my humor.

The fact that it was a shitty, half-forgotten joke is half the point.


--------------------
“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you” -NDT

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Invisiblepoor boy
Village Idiot
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Registered: 06/07/13
Posts: 16,230
Re: My ducks came back! [Re: Data]
    #844687 - 04/28/20 05:59 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

With life, you get what you give. If you're firing only at half chub then expect your climax to be only half amazing.

Aim higher, data. You're better than that.


--------------------
Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned then gradually surfacing, Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns
I'm a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard through the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers, and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm just to feel better

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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